In the morning, we hit the road for Dublin, me and the kid and about eight million other Limerick people as well. Better make sure the old red shirt isn’t too smelly. I forgot to wash it after the Sale match, and it seems to have become a bit of an eco-system in its [...]
Question: What’s the difference between Serbian, Croatian, Serbo-Croat and Bosnian?
Answer: None. Linguistically, it’s about the same as the difference between Dublin English and Cork English, except there’s no Yugoslav equivalent for the Dort, they have no rain debates and nobody is called Breffni or Sorcha.
Yet the Irish Times last week published a list of all [...]
Today’s hilarious episode of the Morris Tribunal brought us Sgt John White’s testimony, in which he revealed a deep understanding of human emotion.
Evidence had been given earlier that Mrs Brolly was shouted at by two male detectives to “fucking stand up” because she was looking “too comfortable”. Sgt White confirmed that this had happened, and [...]
I love Lidl. Their special offers are just great, and they manage to keep us in a constant state of joyous expectation, but it would be hard to beat next Monday’s solar-powered garden gnome.
Isn’t that classy? I think it’s even better than the telescopic yard-brush they had last year. I’m going to buy about 252 [...]
Years and years and years ago (cos I’m incredibly old, and can remember such things) there was an American series on TV, called The Invaders. A Quinn-Martin production, like Rockford, and Cannon and a whole shitload of others involving guys with very dodgy moustaches and check jackets. Admittedly, Rockford had no moustache, but in a [...]
The Morris Tribunal took a further twist today when Garda Joan Gallagher denied ever having done anything. Throughout the questioning, Gda Gallagher addressed the Tribunal in the Garda Dialect.
“I gave my entire fucking life to camogie, you pathetic piece of fucking slime”, insisted Gda Gallagher.” Apart from pucking sliotars, I never done one other [...]
Driving to Galway this morning, I noticed a sign: Welcome to Clarinbridge. Home of the Oyster.
Wait a minute. The Oyster? Wasn’t that one of those Dublin criminals, like the Monk, the Penguin, the General? I’m nearly sure of it, but which one was he? Was the Oyster the one who [...]
It was another day of dramatic developments at the Morris Tribunal. In an emotional statement, Detective Sergeant John White denied breaking wind in a suspect’s face. “Read my lips,” said Sgt White. “I did not fart at that woman.”
The statement followed earlier admissions by another detective in the Donegal division. Garda John Dooley confirmed that [...]
I stopped smoking about three years ago. It was one of the few good decisions I’ve made in my life and, since that day, I haven’t missed cigarettes at all. Seriously – there isn’t a joke coming. I don’t miss them. I didn’t miss them the first day I stopped and I still don’t.
Let [...]
I was chatting to a friend yesterday, as one does, and he mentioned that somebody was dead. I knew he was wrong, but even though I was the one correcting him, I could hear my late mother’s voice: “Who did you send to kill him?”
My mother, and many others of her generation, had a lively [...]
