Calling Wayne

Chanterelle goes into the Social. “I wants to claim for a new baby.”

“No bother,” says the Social guy. “How many is that you have?”


“No bother. Just for the record, can I check what the others are called.”

“They’re called Wayne.”

“No,” says the Social guy. “I need to know what they’re all called.”

“They’re all called Wayne.”

“Right,” says the Social guy. “I see. But doesn’t that get a bit confusing? I mean, for instance, if you want to call one of them? So to speak?”

“Oh, that’s no bother,” says Chanterelle. “When their dinner’s on the table, I roars out the door, come in Wayne you little fucker, your dinner’s poured out!!! And they all comes in.”

“I see,” says the guy at the Social. “But supposing you just want one particular individual? One of them. An individual?”

Chanterelle pauses for an instant and then lights up with understanding. “Like, one of the fuckers and not the other fuckers? Like?”


“Oh, that’s easy. I just calls ’em by their surname.”

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