Smash
Posted on Tuesday, August 8, 2006I went into Tesco a little while back, to buy some shit or other. I don’t know what it was. Some useless fucking crap that I didn’t need, no doubt, and that I could easily have waited for or done without altogether. Some pointless shit, like maybe raisins or something.
But that wasn’t what I wanted to say, so let’s move on. It doesn’t matter what I went in there to buy. Just move it on. The point I wanted to make was this: for the first time in years I noticed that they had on the shelf, over there in Tesco, a whole load of instant mash. Got that? Over there in Tesco at the Roxboro roundabout? Instant fucking mash?
Now, there’s only one word that suggests itself to me when I think of instant mash, and that word is WHY? For instance, how hard would it be to peel a couple of spuds, steam them and then mash them up with loads of real butter, a dash of pepper and a pinch of salt to taste? What could be nicer? What could be easier? What could be more delicious and natural? What, indeed, could be more nutritious?
What could be more stupid than buying a pack of grey powder, pouring it into a pan, adding hot water and calling it food?
Stumble it!
