Woolly-speak

 Posted by on September 18, 2006  Add comments
Sep 182006
 

What is it with social workers, “community workers” and the like? Why won’t they use the word “about” like the rest of us? The next time you’re talking to your probation officer, listen carefully to what he says and observe the world he inhabits.

In Social-Worker-World, people are never frightened of something. They have fears around it. They never object to a proposal. Instead, they have issues around it. They have questions around things, and misgivings around stuff. Worries around issues, and issues around worries.

Where you or I might say, “fuck off ya lyin’ bollox!”, a social worker will say “I have doubts around what you say.” Why can’t they pronounce the word “about”? Is it some bizarre and highly-specific speech impediment? No. I don’t think so.

I guarantee you, the next time you hear somebody talking about having “issues around this”, they’ll be either a social worker or a tinker who was sent on a course. Soft, woolly, touchy-feely, general vague-speak, reflecting soft, woolly, touchy-feely, general vague-think.

It’s Nature’s way of protecting these people from the real world.

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