Right. I’m giving fair warning now. I’m going to murder the next person who says :-

A long number of years. It might be a long time, or it might be a large number, but there’s no such thing as a long number. Fuck off.

On a daily basis. Do you mean daily? Then why don’t you say so, you pompous git? What’s all this basis shit?

Adverse weather conditions. Bad. It’s bad weather, ok? Just say bad weather and we’ll all know what you mean.

Traffic is affected by adverse weather conditions. Affected? Improved, perhaps? Speeded up? Eased? In what way was it affected? Oh, you mean slowed, do you, or obstructed, or maybe impeded? Well, why the fuck didn’t you say so?

A very key objective. Look, the word key is a noun. Some people use it as an adjective, and that’s just about tolerable, but to say very key is very, very fucking stupid. It doesn’t work. I mean, take an example: you’re looking at two dog-houses in the pet shop. The owner doesn’t say to you, “well, the one on the left is a dog house all right, but the other one is very dog. Extremely dog.”

Within certain parameters. I think you mean perimeter, you fucking fool. If you don’t know what a parameter is, look it up.

Decimated. This was a punishment inflicted on the Roman legions. It involved killing one in ten of the legionaries. Therefore, decimated does not mean devastated.

Going forward. This means nothing. I will personally strangle the next gobshite who utters this meaningless phrase.

I will add to this list when I’m sober.

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