If you were going to build a shopping centre, would you call it The Mountaineering Centre? No, you wouldn’t, unless you were a fucking eejit. Would you call it the Cancer Research Centre? You would not. Would you call it the Pre-School Education Centre? Of course you wouldn’t! Maybe you’d call it the Gastronomic Centre – no you would not.
Here’s a list of names you wouldn’t call a shopping centre unless you were a total gobdaw. In no particular order:-
The Jehovah’s Witnesses Blood Transfusion Centre
The Minge-hoovering Centre
The Tinker Environmental Awareness Centre
The Damien Rice Music Centre
The Journalistic Standards Centre
The Islamic Peace Centre
The Anti-Islamic Peace Centre
The Wear a Fucking Veil Tubridy You Cunt Centre
The Clint Eastwood Gunfighting Centre
The Itchy Mickey Centre
The David Lynch Appreciation Society Centre
The Fat Knacker Fitness Centre
The Spodo Komodo Comedy Centre
The Jacques Cousteau Grouper-Spearing Centre
The Outer Space Arse-Fangling Centre
Why would you not want to call a shopping centre any of the above? Because it’s a shopping centre – that’s why. A fucking shopping centre. So why the hell would any twat want to call their shopping centre The Opera Centre?
Let’s be clear about this: there will be fuck-all opera going on in the Opera Centre. None! Not a sausage!!
Opera Centre me bollix!