We went to the Impact Theatre Company’s second outing last night and I have to tell you, guys, they were simply fuckin mighty.

They laid on three little plays for us, nothing longer than about 30 minutes, and every one was a cast-iron fucking up-your-arse classic.

Funny. Studied. Witty. Sexy.

They are Da Bizness.

These people are great and they deserve all your support, so if you haven’t gone to visit them, do it now, ya bollix, or we’ll find out where you live. Ya bollix.

As part of our Skobe Outreach programme, we brought a bunch of skobes to the production to see what they thought of it. After the show, I spoke to them in Skobish.

What did ya think of it, ya little bollix??? I enquired of their alpha male.

Fuckin deadly, he replied, after a pause.

Ah, listen. Come and Go. What about that? I have to tell you, those three gals on the bench were the funniest thing I have seen in years. I loved them, and it was a pleasure to meet them later in the pub and tell them so. I hope it means something to them.

Well done, you crazy fucking nutter girls. Keep it going.