Posted by on November 22, 2006  Add comments
Nov 222006

I saw these reports today about two Leaving Cert students who were awarded 12,000 euros because they were discriminated against. The money was awarded by the Equality Tribunal when the students took a case against the Department of Education. Why? Well, it seems that both students are dyslexic and apparently the certificates issued to the students had some footnotes which stated that their English exam didn’t test their spelling, punctuation or certain elements of grammar.

This, to me, seems a bit silly. Why didn’t the exam test their spelling, punctuation or grammar? That way, they could just have been given a straight result, with no controversy. But no. It appears that, because the students have a disability, they are exempt from having their spelling and punctuation assessed, and this is the way the Equality Tribunal would like it. In an English exam, you don’t bother looking at the spelling, because a lot of people have trouble spelling.

Do you know what we should do? We should stop testing people on things they find hard. Great. Why not take it a step further, and let people who can’t read a single word do the English exam? We’ll test them on absolutely fuck-all, and therefore we’ll have to give them top marks.

Well done, you illiterate fucker: you got an A in English.

And in future, people won’t be bad at maths, or have crap teachers who turned them off. Instead, we’ll have dyscalculia. Ha, you think I made up that word, don’t you? Well, I fucking didn’t. It’s in use, and pretty soon, all hard sums will be banned from maths exams because people with dyscalculia might feel left out.

Can’t you just see them in a few years, down there in Houston? On the mission to Alpha Centauri, reaching out to our nearest intelligent neighbours who recently beamed us back an episode of Neighbours.

Challenger II, you are good to go.

And the mighty transquadriplinthalistic engines rumble to life, propelling the gigantic ship upwards, upwards, upwards and straight into the side of a fucking mountain.

What the heck, Houston?

Ah, sorry there, Mission Control. Um, seems one of our navigation controllers has dyscalculia, got his flight equations a little knotted up, y’know?

Dyscalculia, you say. Well shoot! Why’n’y’all say so sooner? Why we can’t go all upsettin’ that poor disabled boy. Let’s us jest ferget the whole darn thing an’ start over. What y’all say?

Why stop there? We could award Physical Education degrees to multiple amputees. No test necessary because no fuckin legs for fuckin trampoline. Only fair. And if you don’t like it, we’ll be off to the Equality Tribunal. By the way, so what if I have no arms or legs or a head? I’m equal to you and I’m entitled to that black belt in Kung Fu.

They estimate that 5,000 students every year could have dyslexia and could all be covered by this ruling. Who says 5,000 students have dyslexia? I don’t know. Are there that many people in the country qualified to make a diagnosis, or is it just something you can claim to have? Were they diagnosed, and if so who carried out the diagnosis? In this country, children have to wait till they’re forty-three to get orthodontic treatment. People have to drive a hundred miles to get dialysis. Old people have to lie on an A&E trolley for a week before they’re seen. But somebody somewhere is able to diagnose 5,000 kids every year with dyslexia.

It’s getting late. I have to be up early. I’m tired. So don’t get me fucking started on ADHD. OK?
kick it on kick.ie

  6 Responses to “Equality”

Comments (6)

    I have been diagnosed as a dislitcick bollic gimme my 5 grand you cunt


    Is that not positive discrimination? They did them a favour and the cunts still scrounged twelve grand out of it?

    For fuck’s sake. I don’t know Bock. Murderous rampages are looking more and more appealing these days.


    I started a comment here, Bock, but it got so long that it turned into a blog, so I’ve just published it over at my place. Hope that’s ok. I’m new to this.


    Judging by my school, half of limerick seems to have dyslexia. Didnt have it in 5th year but they have it now. Its discrimination against me for being able to spell.

    And theres no sympathy for my dyscalculia.


    Does Word check for dyslexia? Can you be dyslexic in Arabic, or is that what happened to Salman Rushdie.
    Its all shite, more of the politically correct crap that is becoming the norm these days. I am not trying to say all was better before and beating the shit out of left handed children until they used the right hand was maybe a touch cruel, but lets get some balance into the equation?


    They think I’m dyscalculic but I don’t want easier exams or anything… O.o I just want to learn how to do the stuff… it just takes me longer and a different way. Some stuff will always be above my head but hey-ho, if I get low marks I know why, don’t I?

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