Ah now seriously. Come on!
Posted on Tuesday, December 5, 2006What do you make of Michael Stone’s attack on Stormont? I mean, really now. Anyone who ever saw a shot of Stormont on the telly will be familiar with that mile-long dead-straight road that sweeps away down the hill and back up again on the other side. Dead straight. A mile long. With a castle at one end and a checkpoint at the other. Did nobody see the mad fucker staggering down the mile-long road with his bag of explosives, his fake gun, his knife and his hatchet?
There you have your two coppers sitting in their hut and here comes this gimpy fat fucker off in the distance carrying a bag with smoke coming out of it.
Hey, Wesley, who’s thon fucker wi’ a bag an’ smoke pouring out of it there?
Ah, Sammy, that there’s wee Mikey Stone. Done time, y’know for murder and that there? Out in that there Taig cemetery, Millstone or somethin’.
Jesus, Wesley, you can’t say that there. We’re the Nips now. Would youse ever catch a hould o’ yersel’?
Aw! Right, Sammy. Sorry about that there. Forgot mesel’ there. Look, here he comes now. I’ll just fling open tha winda here. Hey, Mikey! What about you there, son?
Aw, Wesley - I mean Officer - what about ya?
Listen Mikey, I know youse are probably just away on down there to express your legitimate outrage at the travesty o’ democracy takkin place in thon castle, but I have to ask you, what’s in thon smokin’ satchel?
‘At there, Wesley - I mean Officer? Aw, ‘at’s nuhhin. Just a wee smokin’ satchel ma mither gie’d me. Mostly just dulce an yella man from th’ Auld Lammas Fair. An’ a hatchet. Oh, aye, an’ a gun an’ a wee knife, a wee dagger, right enough. And that there. Aye. Right enough. Wee dagger.
Ah, right enough Mikey. Awa wi ya doon to the travesty o’ democracy. Mind how ya dander now, an’ you wi ‘at gimpy auld leg.
Stumble it!
