popular culture

Gay Marriage

I’ve been thinking about this recent court case involving the two women who want to be married, and it’s bothering me.

These women, it seems, want to be married like everybody else. To each other.

I pause a long time and I think about this and I have to confess that there are many and varied thoughts rotating around in my brain in a state of controlled turmoil but eventually I come up with an opinion. And the opinion I come up with is:

What’s the problem?

So they want to be married? OK then. Let them be married! What’s the fucking problem?

Well, it seems the High Court thinks a marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Right. Let me think about that, because the High Court deserves a little respect, doesn’t it? Man. Woman. Marriage. Together.

Da. Dee. Da. Dum. Dum-dee-da-dee-dum. Thinking . . . thinking . . . please wait . . .

That’s it. I’ve thought.

It seems to me that the courts have no right to examine a person’s genitalia. It seems to me that marriage is not about reproduction, and I say that for two reasons. Firstly, the country is full of unmarried people producing families, bless them, and secondly, if you make reproduction a criterion for marriage, well what about old fuckers getting married?

Is somebody going to ask the old bride: when was your last period?

Is somebody going to say to the elderly groom: Whip it out there and give it a shake till we see what’s going on with you?

Of course not!!

They won’t have children. They don’t want children. In fact, they can’t have children, and they’re very happy about it, just like the lezzers. So what’s the big deal? Let the lezzers marry, that’s what I say. And let arse-bandits marry too. I have no problem with that, as long as they don’t frighten the piebalds.

kick it on

11 replies on “Gay Marriage”

Thanks, Stephen. Drop in again.

Anonymous, thanks for your kind comments. As you know, the original Lord Haw Haw was a broadcaster on the Nazi propaganda radio station, Germany Calling. I hope you don’t think I’m a Nazi propagandist.

The High Court was only round 1, Bock. The laydees who like laydees will have another day ‘out’ at the Supreme Court.

John: nice to see you here. Drop in any time.

Conan: I wish the ladies well in the Supreme Court. It’s a pity they have to go that far.

anonymous 8:37: Fuck off!

If you support gay marriage you are a gay. If you know gay people you will become a gay. If you talk about gay people you will become gay.

If you are straight you should not know gay people. If you do know gay people then other straight people should try to make you feel deeply ashamed of it by saying hateful things to belittle you. Shame is the watchword. Shame shame shame.

If that doesn’t work they should call you a shirt lifter. They should also use scatological humor to mask their own sexual insecurities.

Rinse and repeat.


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