A visit to the doctor

 Posted by on January 2, 2007  Add comments
Jan 022007

I got a bit of a chest infection during the week, hawking up big green oysters, you know? So I said I’d better go and see the Doc.

Howya Doc.

Howya Bock.

Doc, I have this bit of a chest infection.

Right, Bock. Let’s have a listen.

So he poked around with his stethoscope and he said

Sorry Bock. It’s bad news. You have lung cancer.

Then he said,

Nah. Only joking. Here, take a few of these several times a day for a while and it’ll go away.

Right, Doc, I said. Thanks.

Bock, he said, as I was leaving.


Bock, I notice you’re becoming a bit of a fat bastard.

What, Doc? I replied in surprise.

You’re becoming somewhat rotund. I’ve noticed it ever since you packed in the smokes.

Surely not, Doc, I protested.

Oh yes, Bock, he insisted.

But fuck it Doc, I do all the right things. I get plenty of exercise.

Like what, Bock?

Well, I listen to a lot of loud music. And . . . and I drive very fast with the windows open!

What about your eating habits?

Oh Jesus, Doc, I watch what I eat. The most nachos I’d have would be two bags at a time. And no more than four pots of cheese sauce (with jalapenos). Six doughnuts, and I’d be full. No more than two dinners any evening, plus of course, a pound of sausages cooked in dripping for my breakfast, served with melted butter and fried potatoes.

Hmmm, he said, fixing me with his glittering eye. What about drink?

Oh, Doc, I know I go out every night, but I’d always leave it at the eight pints. And of course, the bottle of wine when I get home. Or two.

Doc studied me for a long time. Are you being serious here?

Yes, Doc, I am.

Well, Bock, all I can say is that I’m baffled. You’re doing everything right.

  3 Responses to “A visit to the doctor”

Comments (3)

    A healthy and happy New Year to you. Hope you feel better and become more svelte, if that’s your thing.


    There’s nothing Bock likes better than to be svelte up.


    Happy New Year Bock!! I hear Green Tea is great for getting healthy!!!

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