Food & Drink

Drink driving

It seems that the tough new police action against drinking and driving has pretty much killed the rural pub, which was the last place left for people to congregate, now that the post offices are nearly extinct and people are afraid to go to the church in case a big hairy priest jumps out from behind a statue and bones them up the arse while they’re not looking.

This, not surprisingly, is leading to isolation and loneliness for many old people and, to combat the problem, it seems the government is going to provide free transport so that old people living in rural areas can go to the pub at night and have a drink. That’s what it says here in today’s paper. I’m reading it now.

Several reactions crowd in upon me at exactly the same time, all fighting for life.

What? Free buses to the pub? They will in their arse! Is this a joke? Why can’t the pubs pay for it? It won’t happen. Pull the other one. Now there’s a pre-election stunt if I ever saw one. Gobshite politicians.

But the reaction that rises above all the other, floating blithely to freedom as the others shake their fists at it, is this: Why?

Not content with forcing smokers out into the freezing rain for a cigarette, our super-PC government has now ordained that even two pints will turn your average driver into a slobbering double-visioned killing machine. Look, the theory behind this law is that alcohol diminishes our capacity to drive safely, which is an undisputed fact. Diminished from what level, though? And to what level? You could walk into a pub in reasonable physical and mental condition, drink two pints, go out and get arrested. Meanwhile, the guy next to you who only had a coffee, can be as blind as a bat, with a dodgy leg, a withered arm, crippled with arthritis, a bad back, a stiff neck, and as stupid as a White House full of Bushes. When the cops pull him in, he’s blameless. Despite the fact that he shouldn’t be allowed to walk, never mind drive, he can continue on his way, endangering everybody within a forty-mile radius.

Why? It’s insane.

If we were going to be logical about it, there should be a change in the law. By all means ban drink driving, but only if you also ban complete idiots from getting behind a wheel.

Excuse me, Sir. Would you mind blowing into this bag? Thanks. That’s fine. Now, are you a complete fucking fool? You are? Right, I’m arresting you under the Fucking Fools Not Allowed to Drive Act, 2007.

kick it on

5 replies on “Drink driving”

Insanity is as good a reason as any, isn’t it? I would suggest that we walk to the pub (a few miles of night air would do us some good), but walking would put us in danger of being hit by drunk drivers.

Well, in fairness, when you’re getting your license renewed, you’re supposed to say if you have any disabilities. And if so, you need a medical cert from your doc (who decides if that needs to be renewed every year, or five, or ten.) I happen to know cos I have a bit of a dodgy heart.

Personally, I think some prescription drugs *could* make people more dangerous than a driver with one or two pints!

Happy New Year, Bock.

Justin: You can’t walk to the pub in the country. You’ll be run over by someone, drunk or sober.

Nora: true, but the form doesn’t ask: “are you a congenital moron?”

fuck the publicans.they had it good for so long they think they;re entitled to easy money at this stage.all they do is fuckin moan all the time,and they;re experts at that from listening to boring fuckers sitting at the bar all you think the average publican gives a bollox about where the money for the drink came?or more importantly,did you ever hear of a publican tell the unemployed father go home early on dole day, because his wife and kids are probably waiting on the few bob?in the main, publicans are greedy capitalist bastards that couldn;t give a fiddlers fart about the well being of their customers.fuck um,and thank god for decent wine in lidl,and while i;m at it,fuck those those cunts that own the chippers too, unimaginative pricks.

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