The savage-stupid gene

I don’t watch the Big Brother show, but it would be impossible to miss the controversy that’s going on at the moment over the behaviour of some participants. India is outraged at some comments which seem to be racist, though I didn’t hear them myself. People are burning effigies on the street. (By the way, what is it with India and effigies? I wonder if I opened a chain of effigy shops across India and Pakistan, would they be a success? I’d say they’d make a fortune for me).

I have to confess, to my embarrassment, I never heard of Shilpa Shetty until this evening. Shame on me. But even further shame on me for knowing who Jade Goody is.

There couldn’t be a greater contrast between two human beings. Shilpa is beautiful, gracious,well-mannered and educated. Jade is a fat, ignorant, foul-mouthed, illiterate thug.

The Big Brother organisation has brought the two together on one unreality tv show, and both are showing their true colours. Shilpa is reasonable, patient, conciliatory and courteous. Jade is loud, aggressive and stupid. Unfortunately, it seems that Jade and two other shaved apes have been doing their best to make Shilpa’s life miserable, and you can only presume it’s because, when they look at Shilpa, they see everything they themselves are not.

I’m getting very tired of this glorification of the underclass, I really am. Who? No, I’m not talking about the poor people. I’m referring to the know-nothing fools who shout their way through our day-to-day lives, spitting chewing gum on the footpaths, writing their stupid names on bus seats – Beyoncé luvs Wayne – leaving their beer tins in our doorways and their rubbish bags full of frozen-dinner-wrappers in our streets after dark for somebody else to take away because they’re too fucking lazy or too fucking stingy to pay or too fucking stupid. The gobshites in little Toyota fucking Starlets with a gigantic boom-box I can hear four blocks away, and an even bigger fucking exhaust pipe I can hear in the next county. That’s what I’m talking about. A bunch of useless empty-headed pricks swaggering around our towns, filthying everything they touch.

Jade Goody is just their representative on tv at the moment, but nevertheless is a good enough picture of what we’re dealing with. The Brits call them chavs, and over there they have it a bit worse than we do at the moment, though that too is changing. I think the reason is simple. In previous centuries, the Brits had a war every twenty years or so, and slaughtered these fuckers by the thousands, but lately two things have happened. They’re having fewer wars and they’ve started insisting that their soldiers should be able to read. This is obviously a disastrous policy, keeping all these stupid chavs out of harm’s way, when really they’ve been bred to walk into a hail of bullets. It’s all they know. As for our own home-grown chavs here in Ireland, I think they’re the descendants of the scum the Brits drafted into their armies in the good old days. I think they’re descended from the scum the Brits placed in garrison towns like Limerick and Cork and Athlone and Dublin. I think they were born with the savage-stupid gene: the ideal combination for the Khyber Pass, but not so great for the streets of your home town.

Anyway, Shilpa needn’t worry. These under-evolved fools are the real losers. In fact, they were born losers.

17 thoughts on “The savage-stupid gene

  1. Too fucking right, Bock. It’s even worse in the last few years because of this fucking Celtic Tiger. Now the chavs have a few quid to buy more fucking sovereign rings and more fucking big earrings and more fucking big hood scoops for their fucking Nissan Micras (Nice motor mate. Tell me, is that the full 1.1 litre engine in that baby with the massive spoiler and spinny wheels? Wow, I bet you could hit sixty in as many seconds in that beast. Lucky that all you want to do is drive it around in a fucking circle in a car park. Awesome).

    Chavs with money. It’s the worst. It’s all footballer’s Wives Chic round at their place. All they’re short of is the fucking ceramic leopard on the fireplace. Chavs with money to buy another Elizabeth Duke, gold-plated chip for their fucking ignorant shoulders. Fucking great.

  2. I’m with you Bock. Only I don’t think they’re born that way. No one could possibly be born that way. I hope.

  3. great insight…I couldnt have put it better myself…
    You have the great insight of a puppet dictator!. and i for one would follow you !
    When do we start putting the scum against the wall? or in a concentration camp way up in connamara(away from the sights of beauty of course)

    Its the only way !

    hail bock!!!!

    The batman

  4. Too right, Bock. I didn’t even know who these two people you mentioned were, having fortunately avoided Big Brother(and whatever else Jade’s been in), but my first thoughts upon googling them? Shilpa: Wow. She’s a right looker. Jade: Woof.

    It’s invading America too, you know. Cartoon Network of all people have been pushing “Lady Soverign” during commercial breaks lately, and Wal-Mart’s been carrying some junior pimp-wear marked(I think) Esse that’s essentialy caps and trackies. It’s sickening.

  5. Gordon Brown just called on the people of Britain to do the right thing and vote Jade Goody out.

    Surely voting on Big Brother is never the right thing.

    Hence he too must die.

  6. Mr Bock: everyone is talking about this nonsense. China Blue says the Indian woman is a black belt in kung fu, so in theory she could give the ugly cockney women a good kicking. I know it’s not ladylike, but aren’t these shows supposed to be entertainment? And why are you moderating comments? Are you being stalked by some blog nutter?

  7. “A bunch of useless empty-headed pricks swaggering around our towns, filthying everything they touch.”

    Precicement! Or kids, as we used to call them. They are just us, as were but they are more affluent. It’s nothing to be frightened of, they’ll grow out of it.

  8. Theyre called skangers here ,Jimmy Pages trousers, we dont need to automaticly adopt every slang expression that comes from over the pond.

  9. EolaÃí : I didn’t invent it. Amazingly.

    JPT: I don’t really care how somebody looks, but I do object to him polluting my world with, for example, noise.

    Justin: Maybe it happens immediately after birth. Who knows?

    Batman: you’re doing a great job already.

    Salem: You have it in the States too? The Shouting People?

    Angry Beard: That looks like a hard word to say.

    Kieran: You’re right. Voting on these fools is just as bad as voting on the government fools and Gordon is a big fucking gobshite anyway.

    Mr Bananas: Hello and welcome. I hope the lovely Indian girl kicks seven shades of shit out of the stupid knackers. All of them. I moderate comments because I like to oppress the small man.

    Maroon: Yes indeed, if you count people in their thirties and forties as kids.

    Darkman: They aren’t called skangers where I live. The only place I ever heard the term was in Dublin. Is it in Cork too? As for importing slang: why not, if it works?

  10. Well said Bock.

    My question is, have we a ‘Jade Goody’ in Ireland? I can’t think of anyone in the same class of thick ignorance that we’ve elevated to “celebrity” status and helped to make that kind of money? For doing sweet F-A? (£8 million, I’m told.)

    Maybe I’m just losing the oul brain cells …

  11. Indeed, Darkman, we need not automaticly (sic) adopt every slang expression that comes from over the ‘pond’. Neither do we need to adopt the nom de guerre of rather poor Liam Neeson movies (I liked it when he told her to “just take the fucking elephant”), but we do.

    In the spirit of all-embracing-kindness however, let’s say they are both chavs and skangers.

    Now crime has a new enemy and justice, a new face

  12. Chavs are chavs because of the society they are born into. From they day they are born into the lower classes, they are tagged as no hopers. What this country really needs is the aristocracy and the rich and famous. We need more atinkingly rich people who own lots of land and do nothing all day! There’s no need for normal people and certainly no need to give them any sort of chance in life. Group them all together and discriminate against them I say.

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