Blog Awards

I couldn’t go myself, because I had some business to take care of. You know? I’m a businessman. I’m in construction and refuse. Business, ok?

Here’s the boys. I said to them, you go to this Blog Award thing, and you behave yourself now. Don’t go gettin’ into no trouble. Don’t start no fight. Don’t bring no heat down on me, cos I’m a legitimate businessman now and I don’t need no heat. OK.

They’re good guys. I got them from the Ukrainian mob my business associates in the former Soviet Bloc. They don’t speak English so good but they’re stand-up guys.

Here they are gettin’ into the spirit of things.

They met these people cos I told ’em, you meet the Swearing Couple, I wanna know. You tell ’em from me, they got any trouble? With anybody? They just call Bock, cos they’re good people. But get this. The Swearing Couple don’t swear. How do ya like that? They don’t swear! They just spend the whole time in the free bar, swallowin’ huge quantities of free liquor. Free! Can you imagine that? Free liquor. Tell ya this – it wouldn’t happen on my patch, that’s one thing sure and certain. Anyhows, they pass on the message to the Non-swearing Couple and somehow it seems the goons got it right, cos they get real friendly with the nice no-cursing people. That’s good. Here’s a couple shots of Swearing People.

Then they meet this broad. Real cute stuff from down our way. This chick is into the rag trade or somethin’. I don’t know. What the hell would I know? Jeez!

So anyway, in the end we don’t win nothin’, ya know, an’ I don’t mind too much now, ya know, but these Ukrainians? Jeez, they gonna embarrass me, cos they get picked out for havin’ these real sharp threads and you’ll never guess what these gorillas did. Yeah, that’s right. They went and made a speech, and they say how, like, they hafta go back to Bock wid no prize, and Bock’s gonna whack ’em an’ all. Me? I’m a businessman, fa cryin out loud! A businessman.

They meet this other guy at the bar later, guy calls himself Twenty. Or at least, they think they’re meetin’ him, until he leans a bit too far into the bar counter and – get this – his elbow disappears right into the wall. Jeez! Turns out the guy’s one of them hollow grahams.

Hey. Don’t ask me. It’s scientific stuff that means he ain’t real.

kick it on

16 thoughts on “Blog Awards

  1. My fav part of the night was when these boys came in and just did their thing.I hope there’s more of this next year. We need more Lordi moments.

  2. will says—guess your heavies missed st.vals night by a long shot. hope you left them in that there hotel /liguor store.

  3. Rather like Desperado, only with Ukranians.

    Sorry you didn’t win. I voted for you.

  4. The laugh is on Twenty! He went home to find a Lada’s gearbox in his bed.
    So will you need a gangster’s moll next year?

  5. Ha! Great! I love a man in pinstripes.

    It’s like Fu Manchu made it with a Corleone sister and they had triplets. In Ireland.

    Great photos!

  6. What a fabulous addition to the blog awards but –

    I’m still terrified because of their threats to come to Dingle and move into my ice cream. I’ve taken last rites as a precaution…

  7. These guys stole the show!
    I was talking to Rick O’Shea when they just wandered in and a wave of slight panic washed over his face and I could see him thinking “They’re gonna do something mad while I’m presenting the bleedin’ awards!”

    But they were proper gents, like Twenty.

  8. Hey, Bock, you a made man now? You walking and talking different? Did that gal turn your head and make you blush. Did she tempt you, pre-empt you and make you forget, even for one minute? Did she? She made me think and I wasn’t even there.

    Congratulations and continued inspiration with the blog. Have you considered what you’re going to be when you grow up?


  9. Damien: It’s all your doing. Where would we have been without your efforts? Nowhere.

    Will: Yeah. They took a little piece of the action.


    Devin:Devin. A moll? Without a doubt.

    Kav:I do it for you.

    Sam:We could all visit the Hebrides next year. The Corleones, The Manchu family, Mr Hologram, Mulley, the whole lot. Hold the piss-up on location.

    Conor: It wasn’t easy, I believe.

    Kieran: I hope they didn’t threaten to literally move into your ice-cream, the perverted fuckers.

    Sinéad: YeahHe was right to be worried. The original plan was to whack him, but it got called off at the last minute.

    Sweary: OK. You did swear. But you didn’t call anybody a cunt.

    Mikell: When I grow up, I’m hoping to be just like you.

  10. Hey Bock,

    Mea Culpa. My comment was complimentary in a bitter cynical way. Congratulations on the nomination and continued good fortune with the blog.


  11. Too funny. You made my day! Its not going so well at Massive Software Corporation Inc this tuesday morning, but thas all right cos I’ve just spent a few minutes giggling in my office.

  12. can you be my minders next year – assuming I am not struct down with illness again?

    some of that dancing looked pretty hazardous

  13. Saw some more interesting photo’s of blog night, so very interesting photo’s.

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