Customs Religion

Fuck off, St Patrick


What are we celebrating? Some Welsh [tag]religious[/tag] nutcase arrived over here and filled us with a load of bullshit that eventually went on to become the Irish [tag]Catholic[/tag] church? The most dysfunctional and oppressive organisation ever to screw up the Irish people?

This we should celebrate?

No surprise that people drink excessively on St Patrick’s Day. It’s probably the best way to blot out the memories of stupidity, greed, tyranny and abuse inflicted on the Irish people by the bastards that fucker Patrick introduced to us.

What was wrong with the laid-back fun-loving, relatively equal society that Patricius barged into with all his talk of hell and guilt and damnation, and all the other mentally-ill bullshit these proto-Catholics were so fond of? [Hint: Nothing!]

By the way, who selected the 17th March as St Patrick’s Day? It has to have been some miserable old bishop, doesn’t it?

Hmmm. Let me see now. July? No. They’d enjoy it too much. August? Ah no. The girls would be sunbathing and getting me excited. I know! We’ll have it in the middle of March when the weather is dreary and wet and cold and miserable. Great idea. That’s how we’ll do it.

But enough of this begrudgery. I’m off now to wait for the parade. God, I just love watching dozens of fat girls with frozen blue legs and double chins. And as for the ancient Americans staggering down the middle of the street and waving at us? Oh stop. The excitement is too much.

kick it on

9 replies on “Fuck off, St Patrick”

Will you be having a better St.Pats day than me? yes. I sit here and watch the Thames flow by under the QE2 bridge and the gentle fluttering of Union Jacks in the wind, I appear to have woken up in Orange heaven……and theres no drink……

Glad to see you’re taking it so well, Bock. But I’ve warned you once, the blue-hued fat lassies are mine, all mine….

Tim, why don’t you splice your jib, or whatever it is you jolly jack tars do, up to Hammersmith Irish Centre, if you haven’t already.

Happy St Pat’s anyway

Um. Happy St. Paddy’s Day?

You’re right, obviously. There doesn’t seem like a whole lot to celebrate but, you know, it breaks up March quite nicely, and I get to go to a party.

They should have left it til April though, what with it being the cruellest month and everything.

Thing is St Paddy was a renegade Christian, the Vatican of the day considered excommunicating him. If his version of Christianity had won the day the whole world would be better off. Of course if he’d never come over at all…

Look, sure there are annoying aspects to St.Pat’s- wankers sporting fake Irish accents and bar guys putting green stuff in my beer, but all in all a pretty fun day. And tame too this year. Stabbings were down 43% from last years celebrations.

God, I just love watching dozens of fat girls with frozen blue legs and double chins

The pictures man. Where are the fuckin’ pictures? I will be checking my inbox on the hour.

Liam: Yeah. I’m quite relaxed about it all really. And you’re welcome to the fat knackers.

Sam: Yeah. This place is like a wasteland in March.

John: that’s it. We’d all be happy pagans

Fatman: stabbibgs down? A disaster.

Mr Waring: Not even I could bring myself to take such pictures.

Ah come on… If it hadn’t of been him, it’d have been some other mentalist, most likely with an army to rage and pilage our fair land in a scene akin to that of the crusades… ‘Convert the pagans!’ They’d scream, ‘Convert them with forgivness… And a good clobbering!’
I think we didn’t do so bad with ole mellow St. Paddy…

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