What are we celebrating? Some Welsh [tag]religious[/tag] nutcase arrived over here and filled us with a load of bullshit that eventually went on to become the Irish [tag]Catholic[/tag] church? The most dysfunctional and oppressive organisation ever to screw up the Irish people?
This we should celebrate?
No surprise that people drink excessively on St Patrick’s Day. It’s probably the best way to blot out the memories of stupidity, greed, tyranny and abuse inflicted on the Irish people by the bastards that fucker Patrick introduced to us.
What was wrong with the laid-back fun-loving, relatively equal society that Patricius barged into with all his talk of hell and guilt and damnation, and all the other mentally-ill bullshit these proto-Catholics were so fond of? [Hint: Nothing!]
By the way, who selected the 17th March as St Patrick’s Day? It has to have been some miserable old bishop, doesn’t it?
Hmmm. Let me see now. July? No. They’d enjoy it too much. August? Ah no. The girls would be sunbathing and getting me excited. I know! We’ll have it in the middle of March when the weather is dreary and wet and cold and miserable. Great idea. That’s how we’ll do it.
But enough of this begrudgery. I’m off now to wait for the parade. God, I just love watching dozens of fat girls with frozen blue legs and double chins. And as for the ancient Americans staggering down the middle of the street and waving at us? Oh stop. The excitement is too much.