Some stories you just couldn’t make up.
Here’s an Iraqi guy going through security at Los Angeles airport when the alarm goes off.
Think about it. An Iraqi! At an airport! In America!!
Christ Almighty, if you were in that situation, wouldn’t you just shit yourself?
They jump on Fadhel al-Maliki. They wrestle him to the ground. They search him. They do the old rubber glove trick, and guess what they find?
Holy fuck! He has wires coming out of his arse. They dig deeper and they find that the wires are connected to something. Oh No! What is it? Has this crazy Iraqi guy got a bomb up his arse?
Well no, actually. It’s a magnet with wires coiled around it and a small, polished stone.
A magnet and a stone. The guy has a magnet and a stone shoved up his arse. With electric wires. Maliki told security staff that the objects were “therapeutic” and he went on to say that he forgot to remove them before going through security.
He was secreting these items in a body cavity and that was a great concern because there were also some electric wires associated with that body cavity, said Larry Fetters, security director for the Transportation Security Administration at the airport.
Now, there you are. You’re an Iraqi in America, which isn’t great to begin with. You’re shuffling towards airport security in a country where they think all Iraqis are terrorists. And you FORGET that you have electric wires coming out of your arse?
Mr Al-Maliki, 35, of Atlantic City, N.J., was held for a mental evaluation and for a possible immigration violation, federal officials said.
Really? I wonder why?
This guy has to be a clear contender for the Darwin Awards, but he wasn’t charged.