I see our government has decided to go to the country. Great. Time to start torturing those political reptiles that call to your door once every four years. After all, [...]

. . . where he can get nickel-coated ball-end mandolin strings. Any suggestions?

Well, we went to see I'm Your Man tonight, and I have to tell you I enjoyed almost every second of it. Almost, Bock? Why not every single second? Oh, [...]

It's official. As of yesterday, not only are Scunthorpe going to be promoted to the Championship, but they go up as winners of League One. What do you make of [...]

I must show you something, said Wrinkly Paddy and leapt up from his chair. Look at this! he exclaimed, pulling something out of a bag. I got it last week. [...]

See? And they laughed at me for being such a big fan of Stargate! Ha! I bet they're sniggering on the other side of their faces now that scientists have [...]

Thanks a million. It's such an insipid insincere expression, isn't it? Thanks a million. Like a horrible verbal air-kiss. Mwuh! I never say thanks a million, though I might say [...]

It's very difficult to own a dog. Very. It's hard. Dogs demand a great amount from their owners, and anyone who tries to tell you that pets lower your blood [...]

We haven't been to the theatre in a while. Tomorrow, a few of us are off to the Belltable to see the Island theatre company doing Gagarin Way. I'll report [...]

There's an almighty row going on at the moment about the contracts being offered to new hospital consultants. An incredible uproar. And the reason? Well, the government is going to [...]