Irish General Election

 Posted by on April 30, 2007  Add comments
Apr 302007
 

I see our government has decided to go to the country.

Great. Time to start torturing those political reptiles that call to your door once every four years. After all, even if you didn’t disagree with their policies, it’s very hard to like a heavily-sweating man in a bad suit with a gigantic belly and highly-suspect hair.

I hate these people, but I don’t – obviously – expect you to be so vehement. Obviously. Did I mention that I hate these fuckers? Yes. However, you don’t need to be anywhere near as vehement. Just ask them a few questions when they come to your door, and while I think of it, may I just enter a small caveat? Thanks.

Caveat: This is a completely non-party site. This site hates all political parties equally, naturally, because they are all equally power-grabbing scum-sucking cynical parochial arse-licking morality-free fuckheads. All of them. Including the Greens, the Browns, the Greys, the Socialists, the Socialites, the Luddites, the Lignites, the Meteorites, the Bentonites and of course, the Gelignites. Not to mention Hurricane Johnny and the Jets. The whole dishonest, shit-eating lot of them.

That is Bock’s view on politicians, both established and incipient. A crowd of wankers. Tosspots.

However, as only one party has been in power in this benighted little country for a generation, unfortunately it’s going to look as if I have adopted some kind of party-political stance, when in fact it’s simply that there isn’t anyone else to attack. I mean, the only people who have fucked up in recent memory are the government parties. OK? That makes sense.

Here’s my suggestion. I’ll make a list of hard questions. You can paste them on the inside of your front door and then, instead of listening to the nauseating shite you know they’re going to throw at you, simply say

Hold on a minute. I have a couple of questions.

What do you think? Is this revolutionary or what? People with real questions challenging real stupid politicians.

Now here’s a problem. Because this is Ireland, a small tiny little country on the periphery of just about everything, there are certain things I can’t recommend to you. For example, I can’t suggest you say

Why did you invade Iraq, you murdering fucker?

Of course not. We didn’t invade Iraq.

You could, however, ask something along the lines of

Why did you give Shannon Airport for the use of the US military to invade Iraq, you murdering- by-proxy fucker?

Or you could try something more parochial. For example, you could ask

Why did you give €1,200,000,000 of my money to bail out the religious orders who raped and abused Irish children? For clarity, that would be one thousand two hundred million euros. Could you explain that please? Thanks.

And if you draw a blank on that, maybe you could ask them the following:

How much of the profits from the Corrib gas field go to the Irish citizen?

[Hint 1: The answer is not a penny]

[Hint 2. This is where the Government has sent 200 police to beat the local protesters off the roads while real criminals walk around unhindered everywhere else.]

[Hint 3 This was the deal signed by the convicted fraudster and crook Ray Burke when he was Minister for Energy.]

You might add another supplementary question if you feel sufficently splenetic:

When he gave away this valuable national asset to Shell, how much did Ray Burke make out of the deal?

[Hint: No problem, Ray. Sue me.]

And as this is a Limerick-based site here’s a local one.

Limerick is a much smaller town than Dublin. It only has a population of about 120,000 people in the greater area, compared to the 1.2 million of Dublin. Therefore the most we could expect is a tenth of whatever Dublin gets, per head of population. For instance, as the Luas tram system in Dublin cost €800 million, wouldn’t it seem reasonable that we could have €80 million spent on a tram system for Limerick? A tenth, in other words.

That way, it would be less annoying to see all our tax money spent on a city we don’t live in.

Fine. Here’s the question:

When will the government spend as much per head of population on Limerick’s public transport as they did in Dublin?

[Note: Substitute Cork, Galway, Waterford, Sligo or wherever else you prefer.]

Isn’t it great? And we’re only starting on these bastards.

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  8 Responses to “Irish General Election”

Comments (7) Pingbacks (1)
  1.  

    Thanks Bock for another link to my favourite blogpost of all time, the Haughey one. I can’t read it without crying! It’s pure genius.
    I don’t agree totally about the politicians, my sister’s a councillor and very genuine and hardworking. I’d imagine she’d be asking the politicians on her door those exact same questions.
    Great post!

  2.  

    Fight the power, damn the man!

    Great post.

  3.  

    power the the people man – fucking sure i’m going to print questions out and stick them to the door ! the only fear is that (a) because we live in a remote area none of them will come near us and (b) if i ask them something they cannot or will not answer then they’ll must walk away under the auspices of being too busy – many palms to press dontcha know !

  4.  

    Ah Bock – top notch stuff. I solemnly pledge to ask all the questions.

  5.  

    Aquaasho: Thanks. Your sister is crearly one of the exceptions.

    Badgerdaddy: Yeah. Fuck ’em.

    Ramblingman: My grandaddy was with the RMF. We’ll talk again.

    Loucifer: I’m glad you’re not still cross with me.

  6.  

    Great post, Bock. Keep it up. I’ll be asking my “visitors” those questions plus a few more. For example, why did ye tell us so many lies in 2002? Why are my road taxes so high and my roads are so crap? Why do I pay such high PAYE taxes, but in my neck of the woods I still have to pay for everything myself – e.g. water (our own well); private refuse collection… Why are my children trying to learn in overcrowded classrooms? Why are the schools stinking of damp and mould? Why are the church and the pub the only places people can meet? Ah Jeez!! Why lads???? No funds maybe????????

  7.  

    Nah Bock, I’m not cross with you. As I said, I enjoy your musings whether I agree with you or not. Great post. Like Mairead, I too will be grilling ’em about grossly underfunded schools.

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