Fairy Tales

 Posted by on May 17, 2007  Add comments
May 172007

A good number of years ago, when our children were still children, and not drink-swilling, loud-rock-music-playing, screaming maniacs (in other words, not us), Wrinkly Paddy had an idea.

Bock, he said, we’re not going to live forever.

WP, I replied, if we continue the way we’re going, we won’t see Monday.

True, WP replied, but that isn’t really what I’m getting at. Look. I’ve been thinking. You have two fine children, and I have three. N’est-ce pas?

Oui, I agreed. What the fuck are you talking about?

Well, Wrinkly Paddy shifted uncomfortably, you know the way we’ve been working together?

Of course I do, I said. And having a great time too.

True, he continued. Writing these very bad science fiction novels together.

Bad, I interjected, but extremely profitable.

True, said Wrinkly Paddy. That’s very true.

Look, Paddy went on, I had an idea.

My old friend was clearly troubled and my heart went out to him.

Speak, I said.

Well, he said, you know how we’ve been making countless millions from these shitty science-fiction scripts.

I do.

And we’ve made enough money to last ten lifetimes?


I was thinking, Wrinkly Paddy looked me in the eye. I was thinking about the children.

Aye, I nodded. Me too.

Bock, we’re not getting any younger.


Bock, we need to leave them something they can keep forever.


There’s no point leaving them money.

No. The bastards will shove it up their noses.

Nor houses.

Indeed not. Houses could catch fire.

Well then, I was thinking, what could last forever?

What indeed? Perhaps a —

Indeed! A story!

Many stories! I concurred. What a great idea.

Fairy tales, I was thinking, said Paddy.

Great, I said. We’ll write them a pile of fairy-tales. They’ll have them forever. Nobody can steal a story, or burn it or break it.

Paddy nodded and slugged back his pint. ‘Tis the way they’ll remember us.

Great, I said. Pint?

The Last Songbird

The Sailor Who Drank the Sea

  18 Responses to “Fairy Tales”

Comments (18)

    More! More!

    Good story.




    Being a sailor is thirsty work, and I sympathize with the sailor who drank the sea, I have met his type in bars before, they have a fierce thirst, that only drinking can cure, and nothing will stop the drinking until there is nothing left to drink. Then they are happy and drunk.


    wonderful ,brought back alot of memories.May he rest in peace .ENCORE


    Ahhhh – Bock, that’s wonderful, really enjoyed it. Please sir can I have some more!


    Loved it!


    I read it again and cried


    I’m glad I waited to read this until I had the time to savour it. It’s fantastic, Bock, all achy and mythic and beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s perfection. I’ll be reading this more than once, I know that.


    lovely…absolutely perfect


    Is there anyone out there that can ilslutatutrate (jayus im pissed) for this story?


    Looks like Tim got the message anyway. Hey, Bock all those hours drunk in Nuts corner may not have been wasted after all. Overnight success after 20 years…..


    Bock those links aren’t working anymore.. the songbird and the sailor links.


    That’s right. I had to take down some pages when we redesigned the sites. I forgot the links were still there.

    I haven’t decided what to do about those sort of things yet.


    Would love to hear some more of Jock.. new post maybe?


    Yes, possibly.

    I have something in mind.


    Cool.. :)


    Audrey —

    there’s a post here with Jock reading one of the fairytales, if that’s what you were thinking about.


    Excellent, thanks Bock. Jock has such a distinctive voice – he could have made millions from it! That story echoes Captain Ahab a little..

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