Jailbirds

 Posted by on May 10, 2007  Add comments
May 102007
 

I see Paris Hilton is going to the slammer. Jesus, isn’t that terrible? Paris, apparently, has taken up a petition to keep the poor lamb out of jail, and if you should feel inclined, you can sign it. Have a look at the site and enjoy the sweetness of it: you can’t sign the petition unless you pay money as well. Isn’t that incredible? The silly little rich girl wants you to plead for mercy on her behalf and at the same time hand over some of your money – which you worked for – unlike this idiot girl.

Here’s one of the points the petition makes in Paris’s favour (and by the way, I didn’t make this up):

She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Oh right! This silly bitch expects the underclasses to rise up as one lumpenprole and demand that she swagger free.

Why? Because Paris gets what Paris wants.

This fool, Paris Hilton, this dimwit in fact, is the embodiment of the pouting stupidity that has seen us poor PC idiots hand over power to a bunch of sulking adolescents, for fear we might upset them.

What do I think? Fuck ’em! That’s what I think. In my opinion, what’s fucked up our world lately is the absence of the word No.

No, you can’t have the car.

No, you can’t have a TV in your bedroom.

No, you can’t stay out till four in the morning.

No.

Get used to it.

Here’s a further extract from Paris’s petition:

If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well

And by the way, Paris, I’ll let you in on a secret.

Are you listening?

Good.

My secret is Fuck off.

You can stay in the Hanoi Hilton for all I care.

Meanwhile, on this side of the Pond, the authorities are exercised about a different sort of jailbird. You might have seen my post on scumbags in our high-security prisons having access to cell-phones. Well, after one particular scumbag phoned a radio talk-show, there have been raids on the highest-security prison in the country. The one where all the drug dealers and other filth are located. The one where the scumbags have flat-screen TVs in their cells to keep them quiet.

And what do you think these searches have revealed?

Well, they found a lot of phones, as you’d expect. After all, how’s a drug-dealer supposed to run his business if he can’t talk to his people? And they found chargers. And batteries. Syringes. Home-made whiskey. What??? How the fuck do you make whiskey in a high-security prison? Keep the fire down a bit there, Johnny. Here come the screws.

They also found heroin, cocaine and hash, which is no great surprise.

The thing I couldn’t figure out was the two budgies.

Budgies?

How the hell do you get a budgie up your arse? Better call Richard Gere

  19 Responses to “Jailbirds”

Comments (19)
  1.  

    *sighing* but tell me, why does the press/media keep talking about this woman? it is as if NOTHING else is happening in the damn world, except poor paris hilton…send the bitch to jail, end of story!

    and yes, parents learn the word “NO”

  2.  

    I suppose it depends on the press you read.

    My paper ran it as a ten-line joke item.

  3.  

    Bock you are a cruel hartless bastard,have you no compassion for the cunt.Next you will be telling us you also think our holy father is a cunt and Bush is a cunt.Who is next for your cuntification I ask my self by the way Kyoto is heating up now my sniper rifel is humming to me from its spanish silver case I have lost my ability to puncuate and use spell check as the humitity increases oh yes bock its gonna be a bloody summer I can feel it bring on the chink tourists

  4.  

    I would still give her one, Boc

  5.  

    hzc: You wouldn’t consider coming over here with your rifle and living on a rooftop for a month or two, would you?

    Starman: One what?

  6.  

    YOU PAY TO SIGN THE PETITION – holy crap now I have read everything. Can we start a similar petition to ensure that she does go to jail, except of course it will be free.

  7.  

    God knows what kind of pet she’s going to smuggle in!

  8.  

    Bock, I think hzc means he’d give her one budgie.

  9.  

    A good seeing too, Boc………
    A rogering.
    And so on.

  10.  

    Savannah: Exactly. We seem to be looking at another Leona Helmsley situation here.

    On the other hand, who bankrolls Monkey-Boy?

    Flirty: Astonishing.

    Galwaywegian: A ferret?

    Eolai: No. Poor hzc just wants to shoot people from a rooftop.

    Starman: Oh right. Well, let us know how you get on.

  11.  

    I wouldint give the cunt one with bocks and his spirals to the left

  12.  

    by the way bock love the new home great view I could do damage from here

  13.  

    Off to jail, girlín, three months extra for charging folks to sign your petition!!

  14.  

    Paris, Paris, have some class like Martha Stewart. This delights me to no end. Hee hee.

  15.  

    one last comment on the cunt Bock and im finished ok!
    Mrs.Hilton described her daughter as ” like a deer ”
    So would you shoot her?Stuff her?mount her? or eat the cunt.I know what I’d fuckin do!!

  16.  

    This petition, is it hosted on a Paris-site ?

  17.  

    Hi Boc.
    She was great. Iam still wrecked after it all.
    Want the web address?

  18.  

    Starman: What web address?

  19.  

    We sould get people like Joe Arpaio over to sort our prisons out. He makes his inmates wear pink underwear and handcuffs and sleep in tents in 120 degree heat, that would put some manners in the lot of them.

    From my day to day dealings with them and from observing them from time to time, I have found that humans generally don’t care.
    A tv here, I’ll be paid on Thursday, a budgie or two there, I’ll be paid on Thursday. A quiet life is the general theme of todays lesson. Everyone must be paid, therefore everyone must rely on someone else and in doing so either make them happy or gain respect. Making them happy is probably the easiest and so seems to be the policy.

    The United States of America and Ireland we’ll be called next. We should all have a good look back at the good old days when we didn’t have to put money aside for therapy as a result of setting up a damn website.

    I’m getting out of this place once I’m qualified coz its gwetting worse by the year.

    A rant of little or no importance but a rant none the less.

    Generally disgruntled

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