Archive for June 2007

Cork Soakers

Jun 30th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Humour, politics

I was thinking there, you know, after that Monica Leech business, what other construction – apart from sipping his Coke – could be put on a newspaper article that said Monica was s…… his c… ?

Hmmm.
Maybe people would think that Monica was soaping his club.
Or sacking his cook.
Or soaking his cork.
Or seeking his coat.
Or sinking [...]



Getting tough on crime

Jun 29th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Crime, Humour

I see a headline on the front page of today’s Irish Times:
Women injecting cocaine have had legs amputated.
Now! You see? That’s the way to clamp down on crime. At long last, the government have started listening to me.
I look forward to mass amputations, varying from perhaps the removal of a fingertip for [...]



Food With a Face

Jun 29th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Humour

Jesus, I hate it when my dinner looks back at me.
I was at a barbecue recently where they roasted a whole sheep, and that would have been fine by me. It would have been just fine, except that, when I arrived at the oven with my paper plate and my vegetables and my plastic [...]



The Niggar Family

Jun 28th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Humour

I got this from GrĂ¡inne .

Thanks GrĂ¡inne .



Tony Blair’s New Job

Jun 27th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: politics, war

Tony Blair is going to be appointed Peace Envoy to the Middle East.
He’s going to represent something calling itself the Quartet of Mideast peace mediators: the USA, the EU, the UN and Russia.
Hold on a minute, I hear you shout. Are we talking about the same Tony Blair?
I don’t know.
Is this the [...]



Sky Handling Partners Fools

Jun 27th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: internet

Oh, you’re going to love this.
Do you know Damien Mulley, Irish blogging guru and All-Round Wonderful Person For Organising the Irish Blog Awards and Getting All of Us Drunk Repeatedly?
Anyway, it appears that Mulley travelled from somewhere to somewhere with Aer Lingus but the baggage-handling people, Sky Handling Partners, lost his bag.
Fair enough. Shit [...]



Home Safe

Jun 26th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Humour

Late-night flight through dark and brooding country. A ceaseless whisper of cicadas.
Dubious men in linen suits who smile too much and call you my very good friend.
A shipwreck. Something in the lagoon.
A doorway. Many doorways.
A church. A curse. An old priest.
A stone sarcophagus.
Many hills. A precipice. A monastery.
A [...]



Final Despatch

Jun 26th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Humour

The first truck made it through the crossing without trouble. Then the second. As we approached the checkpoint, the young border guard raised a flashlight to halt us. I cursed under my breath and gently felt for the Glock taped to the steering column.
Hoping he wouldn’t look too closely at the documents, [...]