Final Despatch

Jun 26th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: Humour

The first truck made it through the crossing without trouble. Then the second. As we approached the checkpoint, the young border guard raised a flashlight to halt us. I cursed under my breath and gently felt for the Glock taped to the steering column.

Hoping he wouldn’t look too closely at the documents, I handed down three passports, two of them real and the third a clumsy forgery. The man beside me tensed in the darkness and I heard a gentle click as he eased off his safety catch. Our other travelling companion slumped against the door, unconscious.

So, said the border guard, you come from Old City, yes?

How did he know that?

I shrugged. Not speak language.

Cigarette?

I waved it away with a smile and another shrug.

These passport, he waved them at me. One is mistake, yes? Is joke? Yes?

Fuck, I heard my companion mutter, but I reached out and held his wrist.

Easy, I whispered. Take it easy.

You wait, the guard instructed and stepped inside the hut where he said something to his colleague. They both stared at us for a long time and when he returned he was carrying something.

This passport is forgery! he said. Is rubbish! And he flung it on the ground. I tensed as he reached into his pocket.

Your friends, he said, they come here. For you they give this, and he tossed three passports up to me. Two genuine and a third, perfectly-forged.

He laughed as he raised the barrier and waved us through.

Disparager was home.


11 comments
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  1. badgerdaddy June 26th, 2007 7:57 am

    Bock the Glock, indeed. Bock the Cocked Glock.

    I’ll stop now.

  2. yes ,thank God June 26th, 2007 8:29 am

    You back from hol’s yet.

  3. Cap'n P June 26th, 2007 11:04 am

    Bock with the cocked glock in his sock!!!!

  4. galwaywegian June 26th, 2007 11:05 am

    Bock with the cocked glock in the cockpit!!

  5. Cap'n P June 26th, 2007 2:56 pm

    It’s six o’clock. Bock’s got a cocked glock in his sock and his frock has shocked the dock. Somebody stop me. I’m clearly unwell.

  6. Conan Drumm June 26th, 2007 3:45 pm

    Schlock and awe! I’m amazed you made it out of Cork, Bock. And survived North Mon, too.

  7. Medbh June 26th, 2007 4:21 pm

    This is better than Ian Fleming, Bock.

  8. Mairéad June 26th, 2007 7:57 pm

    Disparager “was” home? Where’s he gone now, Bock? After all the trouble you went to!!! Jesus, the ungrateful fecker!

  9. Blowhard's Finest Assassin June 26th, 2007 10:10 pm

    I hope he had the kettle on for after all that.

  10. Hangar Queen June 27th, 2007 7:58 am

    AH….so you got the passports then? That’s grand.You just never know with these Border Guard johnnies do you?
    Just to be sure once you were through we informed their duty officer they were doing a Bertie and the brown envelopes we stashed in the hut sealed their fate.
    I do so hate loose ends don’t you?

  11. savannah June 27th, 2007 2:00 pm

    dammit, sugar..am i gonna get stopped at airports AGAIN cos i know you???

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