Food With a Face
Jun 29th, 2007 | By Bock | Category: HumourJesus, I hate it when my dinner looks back at me.
I was at a barbecue recently where they roasted a whole sheep, and that would have been fine by me. It would have been just fine, except that, when I arrived at the oven with my paper plate and my vegetables and my plastic fork, with a beer-glass kinda tucked under my elbow, as you do, ready for a bit of grub, I happened to look down and couldn’t help noticing that the sheep’s fucking head was still attached.
So there I am, staring down at this roasted sheep’s head with empty eye-sockets, and all I’m thinking is where did all that eye-stuff go?
Fuck that. I had potato salad.
It’s the same when I go out to dinner with somebody who likes to eat prawns. Now, personally, I ‘m not big on sea-food. I’m more of a steak man, provided the head isn’t still attached to the bit I’m gnawing, but I don’t mind. Lately, I’ve been trying harder to eat a bit of fish, ever since my ridiculous encounter with the doctor. But what I don’t – DON’T!!! – like is when my eating-partner breaks the heads off these little prawns and then piles them up at the front of the plate so that all these murdered little creatures are staring across the table at ME! You killed us, you fuckin bastard. How can you sit there eating that sheep’s head with a clear conscience?
Why don’t these people point the fucking prawns’ eyes back at themselves? I hate it, and it puts me right off my sheeps-head dinner.
It’s the same with trout. They fry them, and then they deliver them on a plate in front of you, and there they are staring up at you. Why? Do these chefs have some sort of grim and savage sense of humour or are they simply stupid? Do they think I’m going to eat the fish-head?
No? Well then, cut the bastard off and let me enjoy my dinner, for fucksake!
not sure you can compare eating a sheep to eating prawns. but nice try.
“I was at a barbecue recently where they roasted a whole sheep”
Now, see, that is your problem right there. “Sheep” is not on the menu at a proper barbecue. Cows, yes. Pigs, yes. Goats, sometimes. Sheep, no.
You have really got to stop going to barbecues in the Middle East.
“all I’m thinking is where did all that eye-stuff go?”
Remember when you first got to the barbecue, and you thought “Mmmm, what’s that lovely smell? Dinner sure does smell good!”
Well, that was the sheep eyeballs dripping out and smoking away, hahahaha.
Went to a party in Brittany where they roasted a pig, when my eldest was two the host gave him the pigs tongue and he spent the rest of the party running around with it sticking out of his mouth. A real Exorcist moment.
don’t walk up to the food line, sugar..send someone to fetch your supper…you have far too gentle a constitution….
(still reeling over the visual: … roasted a pig, when my eldest was two the host gave him the pigs tongue and he spent the rest of the party running around with it sticking out of his mouth.)
If you’re gonna eat meat then deal with the fact that it once had a face and was once alive. If you can’t then you don’t have a right to eat it. Steaks and chicken are not born prepacked and wrapped in cellophane. One guy I work with only realised a couple of months ago that the chicken he ate was the same chicken that strutted around farms clucking and pecking at shit! He didn’t even fuckin realise that it once had fuckin legs, wings and a fuckin head!
‘How can you sit there eating that sheep’s head with a clear conscience?’
So it’s got you thinking, Karma free diet perhaps?
To truly respect the animal you should be prepared to eat all the edible parts of it….
anus included…
Some of our correspondents don’t quite seem to have got the idea here.
Oh well . . .
Ya big pansy Bock… although I have to admit I do find it somewhat disconcerting when the Italian sucks the brains and gunk out of the prawns heads… he claims it’s the tastiest part…