OMG, I am SO going to laugh at Paris Hilton. OMG!!!
Posted on Friday, June 8, 2007I see that a weeping Paris Hilton was ordered back to jail by an LA judge.
Fuck off, declared the judge, and count yourself lucky I don’t put you on Death Row with all those black people!
Well, he didn’t say that, but you kinda wish he did.
What he actually said was, Fuck off back to jail you spoilt, bad example to the horrible teenagers of today and you made my own teenage daughters horrible too for which I hate you so fuck off to jail because you are SO BUSTED!! OMG!!
I am so fucking happy about this.
Apparently, Paris broke into sobs and shouted, It’s not right!!
Eh, no, Paris. It is right, and it’s only a pity that the whole world stopped saying no to vacuous, self-absorbed and boring teenagers with the result that they started to take over the world and our bank accounts. But even that wouldn’t be too bad if the fuckers hadn’t invented txt spk, for which the whole fucking lot of them should go to jail, and not to any ordinary jail either, but the special one in Midnight Express.
Paris? Fuck off.
OMG, I am SO going to celebrate this!
After a while, when I had nothing else to do, I had a look at Paris’s achievements in life and I’m proud to bring them to you.
Are you waiting?
OK
====================
Stumble it!
June 8th, 2007
I’ll join you. (celebrating)
Isn’t it great to see a bit of unadulterated common-bloody-sense???
June 8th, 2007
It’s fucking great.
June 8th, 2007
i keep saying it…just say no..no more paris…the dirty skank ho
June 9th, 2007
This is of course, great fucking news. To make it even better, the LA County Sheriff is likely to be charged with contempt of court for letting her out against the judges orders. Some twat actually had the balls to try and suggest that they would have done the same thing for anyone with “her condition” and that to treat her differently just to make an example out of her was unamerican, practically accusing the judge of bowing to public pressure.
June 9th, 2007
Silly wagon.
June 9th, 2007
Savanah: Only a woman would get away with saying that.
Mr Waring: First class news. I hope the Sheriff gets charged, but the judge made no mention of him which is a pity.
Let us strike a blow against the “alot” people. Jail the fuckers!
Mairéad: I hope you’re laughing.
June 9th, 2007
I am sending the judge a present. He made my weekend. The picture of her in the police car is precious and has been framed for my living room.
If I send him a copy of her show on DVD, maybe he’ll put her on death row after all.
Fingers crossed.
June 9th, 2007
lotta class, that paris girl. screaming, weeping, calling for her mommy.
why is she famous, anyway? does anyone know?
June 9th, 2007
Hmm…I wonder is “jail” a medical condition?
June 9th, 2007
My black and withered heart gave a leap when I heard this news.
That judge has made my week.
June 9th, 2007
Well done Bock,
I could’nt have put it better myself - and I don’t even know anything about her.
What has she actually done then? I liked your third, fifth and eighteenth comments, but didn’t think you were being fair on comment 34. She actually did go to the takeaway for a Macdonalds; there are pictures all over the red tops here, and in-depth interviews on how she chooses to enjoy such delicacies!
Oh, and comment 76 was slightly innaccurate. Night does follow day apparently! I’m not sure she knows that.
June 9th, 2007
Paris Hilton should go to the Bangkok Hilton as far as I am concerned. It is so very right indeed. But….have you seen her twisted failed-celebrity uber-pushy mother Kathy Hilton? She should be tried for mental child abuse. She created the monster of Paris and has probably exacerbated the frenzied mess of Paris’s hysteria/borderline breakdown. Or maybe Paris couldn’t get drugs in her ’special needs’ unit and went a bit postal with sudden withdrawal? Oooh - did I say that? I should work for the Enquirer.
June 9th, 2007
Why are ye all at poor little Paris? What did she ever do to you? Look at everything she’s done. She… erm… well she… ahm… no but she did… Right, well… Ah fuck her then.
June 9th, 2007
Come on Bock…you sound like my Da. Didnt you know vacuous is the new aesthetic…what other way is there to respond to the materialistic and godless world that we have created. Paris is Meursault using a hair straightener to express her utter despair at the absurdity of the 21st century zeitgeist……
June 9th, 2007
If Martha had to serve her sentence for endangering exactly zero persons, then Paris has to serve hers for endangering people repeatedly.
It wasn’t like she had to. She had people to drive her around.
OMG, isn’t it delicious?
June 9th, 2007
Great party, sorry I’m late. Looks like all the main points have been covered. Any booze left?
June 9th, 2007
Oh crap - she’ll probably end up writing a book about it all
June 9th, 2007
Conan O’Brien has beaten you to the gloat.
June 9th, 2007
What a grim and vindictive crowd of people visit this site.
Thank God!
June 9th, 2007
Not laughing, Bock, but glad alright. I have a couple of teenagers OMGing with their friends around the place, and I’m happy when an overgrown teenager (as in she should have out-grown acting like a teenager!) gets called to account. A bit more, then I’ll smile!
June 10th, 2007
Omg, she’s SO going to become F-A-T in jail… her usual shifts won’t fit her and she’ll become boiler-suit butch, or, like, whatever…
June 10th, 2007
Ha! Prisoner Cell Block H(ilton)! I can’t wait..
June 10th, 2007
Bock, Friday June 15th Radio 2’s doing a wee documentary kinda thing (they call it the ‘music club’) on Leonard Cohen, complete with interview where he apparently talks about his songwriting methods… You should be able to listen via their web site, and even if you miss it, they do a ‘listen again’ thing. Obviously it’s not on there yet…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/musicclub/
June 10th, 2007
I hope she brought a nail file with her this time, as she’s sentenced to the original 45 days after all. There’s only one thing more entertaining than a celebrity death, and that’s a celebrity imprisonment.
And even more entertaining is a celebrity realising that perhaps all that attention-seeking wasn’t such a good idea in the first place…
“I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world.”
That’s Paris Hilton taking the pressure of the blonkoshpere by writing hilariously enough for all of us this week, anyway.
June 10th, 2007
It really made my week when I saw the shot of her crying in the back of the police car!
Now if only she’d take Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan with her, the world would be a better place!!!!
June 10th, 2007
Not forgetting a few Big Brother has-beens.
June 10th, 2007
hey wonder if she will be making anymore homemade movies when shes inside…….
June 11th, 2007
Hey, Bock, sorry I missed the soire. Will definitely make it next time.
June 11th, 2007
I would still give her another one bock. he he
June 11th, 2007
“It’s not fair” cries Paris. ” They won’t even allow me to have a tweezers. I’m going to have black roots , hairy legs and my landing strip will be the size of Central Park.”
June 11th, 2007
eewww!
June 11th, 2007
Heh@ Ellen.
Double eeeeewwwwww though.
June 11th, 2007
Paris Hilton is a twit and I couldn’t give 2 shits about her but what has me pissed off about the whole deal is that we are putting people in jail for traffic violations. WTF? What kind of sense does that make? None whatsoever! She got caught driving with a suspended license. Oh the horror of it! Cut me a break. What kind of focking police state do we live in when folks are thrown in jail for traffic violations.
June 11th, 2007
What kind of a police state to you live in? America hasn’t been the land of the free for a long time. You have the Patriot Act allowing people who read Muslim literature to be held for questioning for seventy two hours for fuck’s sake. But that’s another rant entirely. When you drive drunk, you are in possession of a lethal weapon with diminished capacity to use it properly. You should be thrown in jail for that.
June 11th, 2007
Now now kids, lets not ruin this nice moment by turning it into a socio-political debate. It is a little harsh to be locked up for a simple traffic violation but I think it was more the fact that she showed complete disregard for the law after numerous warnings and obviously figured she was too rich to go to jail. Judge wants to send out the message that money and public favor doesn’t run the american judicial system. Unless of course you’ve killed somone… Everyone knows rich folks don’t go to jail for murder…
June 11th, 2007
I don’t think the sentence was for a traffic violation. It was to do with disregarding a court order. Contempt of court, in other words.
June 12th, 2007
I checked on the web, to see what the sequence was (cos I wasn’t sure myself):
“Officers arrested Hilton in Hollywood on Sept. 7. In January, she pleaded no contest to the reckless-driving charge and was sentenced to 36 months’ probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines.
“She was pulled over by California Highway Patrol on Jan. 15. Officers informed Hilton she was driving on a suspended license and she signed a document acknowledging she was not to drive.
“She then was pulled over by sheriff’s deputies on Feb. 27, at which time she was charged with violating probation.”