People are so desperate they’ll believe any shit. Isn’t it true? Of course it is, and in evidence, I bring forward the matter of BSc degrees in Alternative Medicine. Now there’s an idea for you.
Let’s juxtapose those words for a minute while we contemplate their contradictory meaning.
Bachelor of Science. Alternative medicine.
They’re giving BSc degrees over there in Britain to people who want to practise things like homeopathy. Science, I’d remind you. Bachelor of Science.
What’s science? I won’t bore you with a dictionary definition, but I will mention one of the fundamental principles, coming straight from the Enlightenment, and it’s this: you have to compare your theory with reality, and you have to do it properly. Your experiment has to be repeatable and if it isn’t then it’s a load of shite. That simple.
Before such concepts, we were dunking witches, so you can see what a leap forward this method is, but it wouldn’t suit the alternative lobby, and to be fair, I can see why. If we were to follow the rational method, none of these chancers would be making a penny out of desperate people.
So you have, for example, homeopathy.
What the fuck, you might well be asking, is homeopathy?
Homeopathy is a method of treatment that involves giving the patient extremely diluted doses of whatever caused the problem in the first place.
You’re not well? Here. Have another bit of the shit that made you sick, and you’ll feel better.
It’s as if you were staggering home after a severe night on the town, and all the taxis are taken, so you say to yourself, Hold on a fuckken minute! I’m fukken drunk. I know what I’ll do, I’ll take a tiny drop of alcohol, and I’ll dilute it by ten million, and before you know it, I’ll be right as rain! What a great idea out of me.
What a great idea indeed, except you’re drunk, and that’s the category it fits into. Great drunken ideas. These, as we all know, are great ideas until you actually try to do something about them, and then – when you wake up in a strange house – they become great ideas you don’t ever want to remember again.
Is there any research to demonstrate that this works? No. There isn’t, for a very simple reason: it’s bullshit.
That’s homeopathy. That’s what they’re offering BSc degrees in.
Remember: Bachelor of Science.
If they allow this nonsense to continue, rational thought is finished and we are fucked.Ã‚ Look forward to a world inhabited exclusively by travel agents, hairdressers and social workers, because everybody else will be extinct.