More religion

 Posted by on August 29, 2007  Add comments
Aug 292007
 

Since we’re on a roll with this religious thing, let me just remind you that today is the Feast of the Beheading of Saint John the Baptist.

See? Those Catholics will celebrate anything as long as there’s a few drinks involved, though I’m not so sure about the Baptists. I don’t know if they celebrate the Holy Beheading. In fact, I’m not sure if they celebrate at all. Ever.

Poor old John the Baptist. Just your average religious maniac who happened to get involved with the wrong Latvian hooker and got whacked by the Russian Mafia.

I’m going to the pub right now to get off my head. It’s my little collapsed-Catholic way of showing solidarity with Saint John the Unskulled.

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Update

Fired up with religious zeal, Mr Darwin sends us this tosh and piffle:

Little Nellie of Holy God

Mr Darwin goes on to make some valuable suggestions :

What about Little Nellie of Holy God? demands Darwin. What’s that all about? She was only four years old but she become a saint. So why not three or even two?

Why not make a fetal saint? That would sort out the pro-choice crowd.
Some poor indoctrinated and brainwashed child spouting Catholic pap gets to be a saint and a poor old Einstein, Lincoln, or Helen Keller won’t get a look in coz they’re just atheists!

Good man, Darwin. That’s the spirit.

  11 Responses to “More religion”

Comments (11)
  1.  

    Baptist celebrations feature items of religious symbolism like snakes, men with no teeth, tents, dunking of folks in rivers, and drinking of moonshine.

  2.  

    Actually, Flannery O’Connor’s short story “The River” pretty much perfectly describes what I think of Baptists.

    Did Flannery make it to Ireland? Not sure if she’s that internationally popular or if this is an American lit kind of thing.

  3.  

    What about Little Nellie of Holy God? What’s that all about? She was only four years old but she become a saint. So why not three or even two? Why not make a fetal saint? That would sort out the pro-choice crowd.
    Some poor indoctrinated and brainwashed child spouting Catholic pap gets to be a saint and a poor old Einstein, Lincoln, or Helen Keller won’t get a look in–coz they’re just atheists!

  4.  

    That’s right Bock, cast that demon out!!

    Eliza, Flannery’s known in these parts too. And there was a good film, Wise Blood, made from one of her stories… religious mania always travels.

  5.  

    Bock, i just wasted 15 mins of my life readin that little nellie story. I want them back, you time-theivin hoor!

    So basically they made this wee girl a saint because she hallucinated, didnt whinge as much as normal, and yet they fully admit she was dropped as a baby? Hmmm….

  6.  

    Eliza: So that’s the Baptist life, eh? Hmm. On principle, I distrust women whose first name is a surname, so I wouldn’t be too familiar with old Flannery.

    Mr Darwin: Foetal saints. What a good idea! We could even take it a step further: Saint Glint-in-my-father’s-eye.

    Conan: Good man. More info please.

    Sheepworrier: You’ll have to blame Mr Darwin for posting that link. He’s a shocking time-waster when he gets going.

  7.  

    Ms O’Connor’s one of the great American story writers – you should find her novels/stories in any good bookshop. Info on that film is at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080140/

  8.  

    I seem to remember (and I am very old) that a catholic who leaves the church is called a pervert!
    But that might only be if he or she goes to another faith and is not just lapsed. I am a pervert and lapsed.

  9.  

    So? Did you get any head?

  10.  

    I love Flannery…Catholic in the south in the forties and fifties (not a lot of catholics down here then).

    The River is one of my favorite pieces…and I think a lot of people get it wrong. When the little boy witnesses the baptism in the river, and sees everyone’s jubilation and washing away of sins, he returns to the family home that is cold and without love. He returns to the river and using the trappings of the religion as an excuse drowns himself.

    I think quite a number of reader’s miss entirely Flannery’s great sense of irony. “A Good Man is Hard to Find” ?? Perfect sense of irony.

  11.  

    Thanks for elevating my diatribe to the holy level of Main Text–my apotheosis is complete. If you’re into all that saintly malarkey, don’t forget about ‘St Christina the Astonishing’ who apparently couldn’t bear the smell of humans. Or the virginal (and entirely fictional, yet still venerated) St Wilgefortis whom God blessed with a full beard to ward off potential agents of deflowering. My favourite tale from the Lives of the Saints recounts how the Buddha himself somehow ended up accidentally being canonised, and remains so!

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