New Political Party in Ireland
Posted on Monday, August 13, 2007Riddle me this: how do you know if something is located in Dublin?
Simple: it’ll have the word National at the start of its name.
The National Gallery.
The National Aquatic Centre.
The national broadcasting station.
The National College of Art and Design.
The National Museum.
The National Theatre.
The National Maternity Hospital.
The National Botanic Gardens.
The National Library.
The National Rehabilitation Hospital.
The National Concert Hall.
Hmmm.
Then, of course, there are the International Financial Services Centre, the Central Bank, the headquarters of the GAA, the IRFU and the FAI.
Is anything national located anywhere else in the nation?
Well, at a rough approximation, no. There isn’t
Now, people will tell you there’s a very good reason for locating every significant public facility, every significant medical, academic and sporting facility in Dublin. A third of the population lives there, you’ll be told. (Which of course means that two thirds don’t, but we’ll leave that to one side for a minute.) Every day, more and more people are piling into Dublin, placing more and more strain on resources, and that’s why we have to locate everything in Dublin.
But of course, if you build it, they will come. And if you insist on having a spatial strategy that places all the nations’s resources in one single urban area, it’s bound to swell up like a rotten pumpkin, isn’t it? Dublin now occupies the same land area as Los Angeles, if you can believe that, and this sprawl has eaten up more than half of the entire budget for Ireland’s transport needs for the next five years. More, in fact, when you see that all of the motorways are also laid out so as to service Dublin by radiating out from it to the other towns and cities of the nation. In addition to that, all the railway lines do the same thing.
Is this insane or what?
Combine this with a dangerously parochial and condescending attitude towards the rest of us, among Dublin-based politicians, journalists, judiciary and all the usual smuggorati of any capital city, and you have a very worrying recipe for social exclusion.
It’s obvious that the government couldn’t give a toss about any Irish citizen who lives in the Western half of this country. We exist solely to provide votes and taxes. Our local infrastructure and industry are irrelevant to central government, as is the quality of our lives, and the current Shannon debacle is only a single example among many.
We don’t matter: it’s that simple as you can see by reading any of the dismissive comments on any of the discussion boards.
So where does that leave us?
Well, I have a suggestion.
For years, we’ve seen in Ireland how a single-issue candidate is courted by governments, fawned and scraped over. Placated and bribed. Despised, maybe, but nevertheless indulged.
Good. If it can work for one, it can work for many.
Since the Dublin establishment offer us a big, cheery Fuck You!! let’s offer them one back.
Let’s establish a Mid-West party and let’s fling out all of the miserable self-serving crooked government-party politicians who offered us that cheery Fuck You!! as they headed off to shove their snouts into the Dublin gravy trough. The same miserable fuckers who are too cowardly now to stand up and say no, on behalf of their constituents. Who, if they had the slightest hint of guts, would make Shannon Airport a general election issue and vote against their own slithery leader if necessary.
For years, we’ve had crooked Fianna Fail governments propped up by every sort of goose-milker and heron-strangler. I wonder what they’d do if they saw half a dozen of their precious local representatives flung out of office for their feebleness, and replaced by half a dozen angry people? Let’s establish a shamelessly selfish Mid-West Party, dedicated to bringing home as much of the cash as we can force from the government, for infrastructural, health, cultural and educational projects here.
If they want a new East-West repartitioning of Ireland, let’s give it to them.
If naked political greed can bring so much benefit to the East coast, well, two can play that game.
Vote Mid-West!
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Stumble it!
August 13th, 2007
Why does it have to be a mid-west party Bock? Why not a ‘Not Dublin’ party and portion the wealth out fairly to the rest of the country. I’m sick of Dundalk getting all of the funds allocated to Co.Louth just because that other Ahern cunt is from there while the great historic town of Drogheda (Ireland’s largest town I might add) gets fucking nothing time and time again!!
August 13th, 2007
Agree on all counts, but I think your ‘Mid-West’ moniker is too limiting. How about The Real Ireland Party (echoes of John Hinde), The Provinces Party, The Fine Here Party, or (my favourite!) The National Party. We could use Dublin Zero as our postcode, as in ‘Ireland 1 - Dublin 0′.
National Monument
August 13th, 2007
You would get my vote, when are your running?
August 13th, 2007
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August 13th, 2007
Mr Nipple: Because, as I said, we have to counter nakedly greedy parochial Dublin-based Fuck-You politics with nakedly greedy parochial Mid-West based Fuck-You politics.
Mr Darwin: It has to be a local movement to put pressure on the invertebrate politicians we currently have. It has to be obviously self-interested and contemptuous of the rest of the country. This is the New Partition.
Anyway, as you know well, a party with national in it will dissipate most of its energy campaigning against sex shops and shouting things at immigrants. I like the monument though.
Branedy: I’m not running. I’ll be the Karl Rove of this movement. When sober enough.
August 13th, 2007
What about the National Stud?
August 13th, 2007
Remind me, where did they put the National College Of Physical Education again? And the national Technological Park? And where would you find the National Self-Portrait collection? And the national Coaching and Training centre?
Fuck off down to the Dock Road for yourself and get a few rusks from the National Rusks Company and have a think about it. If there was to be a Nationall Institute for Stabbings and Shootings, where would you put it?
PS There was a head found in a bag in Dublin today. The gardai are looking for someone missing a head. Maybe they should be looking for someone missing a bag?
The Bolted Nut
August 14th, 2007
Benny: The national Stud is 28 miles from Dublin and that’s only because they couldn’t find a field in Dublin that was free of syringes.
Mr Nut: Does the NCPE still exist? I thought it was subsumed into UL. The National Technological Park is a load of shite, and the national Self-Portrait collection is like national guitars and National Steel: outside the scope of the present discussion, not being in any way government-driven. National Rusks, I think, might fall into the same category of irrelevance, though no doubt you’ll have some fact to fling back at me. The next thing you’ll be talking about is the National Ballroom, and the National Bakery Company.
If there was a National Institute for Stabbings and Shootings (NISS) it would, of course have to be based in the National Capital. In the National Interest.
Just as well it wasn’t a handbag.
August 14th, 2007
“Let’s establish a Mid-West party and let’s fling out all of the miserable self-serving crooked government-party politicians who offered us that cheery Fuck You!! ”
It’s being doNe Bock. It was called the PD’S.
August 14th, 2007
LOL you just post your idea and the first two responses are already disagreeing. Where will the HQs be Bock?
August 14th, 2007
I have a question.
Since two thirds of the population don’t live in Dublin, does that mean 2 thirds of the TDs didn’t get elected in Dublin?
If this is so, then how is it that they aren’t representing their constituents but, still get elected.
Using the logic that, TDs will do anything to get elected, I conclude that the people of the South and West are either content with their situation, or are too stupid to do anything about it.
If you want investment, demand it. If you don’t get it then make sure your representative feels your wrath.
That is how Democracy* works isn’t it?
*I have no faith in Democracy
August 14th, 2007
Mr Help-us: The PDs were just FF Lite.
Dan Dare: It’ll have to be somewhere deep in the Mid-West, I suppose.
Niall: That’s my point exactly. Kick ‘em out! Replace the bastards!
August 14th, 2007
Maybe you’re right. A blatantly self-interested parochial party is the way to go.
By the way, I found another ‘National’ exception, but by JAYZ it’s a hard thing to do! For every one outside Dublin, there’s fifty inside the stockade. The National Folk Theatre of Ireland
August 14th, 2007
Mr Darwin: Now you have it. Let’s play the same Fuck-You politics as the rest of them.
August 15th, 2007
Get that lot shifted to Belfast! I’ll petition Gerry and Ian now! (sorry couldn’t resist)….
August 15th, 2007
If you’re voting on geography what’s wrong with voting out the representatives of a constituency if they don’t represent the constituency they were voted in to represent? Wouldn’t they learn quick enough then?
Eire Nua wasn’t all bad.
August 15th, 2007
Manuel:That shower of fuckers wouldn’t last five minutes.
Eolaí: That’s the idea, only on a wider scale. But it’s more than that. It’s about establishing an unashamedly self-interested local party. It seems to be the only way to go in this country.
August 16th, 2007
Is there any National Park in Dublin Bock, heh? No. And what about Bord na gCon? Bord na gConts might be more appropriate but at least they are outside the Pale.
See you in the pub tomorrow as usual after I collect my dole. Can’t wait around though, I have a wall to build.
Nuts
August 17th, 2007
And Bock, fuckit I got another brainwave - THE NATIONAL PLOUGHING CHAMPIONSHIP!-
Try holding that in Dublin, ya bollix.
We had that in Limerick too abroad in Crecora so we did.
Nuts
October 4th, 2007
[…] against the Miniature for the Fence and before long the people of the Mid-West will rise up as one voter and dismiss him from office forever. Well, that’s unlikely, but a guy can fantasize surely? At […]
July 26th, 2008
mmm.. wat about ur policies? are u right wing, centre, left? and hasnt the government already intoduced de-centralisation but nobody want 2 leave dublin cause theres nothin to do beyon the so called ‘pale’? wat about the endless housin estates bein built in the middle of nowhere with no schoos or shops or a proper infrastruture? ave u seen dublin? Its a kip, endless housin estates with no amnieties?!! wat the fuck?! The only consolation is that now the houses market is turnin for the worst and these ‘builders’ (u’ve kept FF in gov) are loosin their bullshit low skilled jobs and the fuckwits who bought these houses/apartments to rent as an investment r goin broke! haahah!
July 26th, 2008
If you write a comment in English I might answer it.