This is the fate that awaits me for laughing at Ratzo.
And of course, then there was that ugly matter where I accused Mother Teresa of murdering Princess Diana. That was a bad business.
I knew it would happen in the end. It was only a matter of time before the Vatican sent out stormtroopers to enforce its will, and God knows, what better country to do it in than poor old priest-ridden Poland, in the grip of the Kaczynski Clones, Lolek and Bolek.
Here they are, the two fine Catholic leaders of Poland. Child actors once upon a time, and now the joint magnificent leaders of a magnificent, faithful catholic country, such as our own magnificent country once was. Before the evil unbelievers such as myself took it over and started to disagree with the Catholic Church.
(And to laugh at the ridiculous, corrupt power-mad child-abusers, and to make fun of them, and most important of all, to say NO!)
But still, some stories are so strange, so weird, so bizarre, that they require no embellishment.
Last week, in Kazimierz Dolny, 150 police stormed a convent to evict a community of nuns who had defied the orders of the Vatican. The Vatican had instructed the nuns to replace their Mother Superior, a charismatic leader who claimed to have had visions.
The nuns left, carrying guitars, drums, tambourines and similar instruments of mass destruction after a locksmith opened the gate and police in riot gear rushed in. They arrested the Mother Superior and a Franciscan friar.
According to reports, some nuns screamed at police, calling them servants of Satan.
They were disobedient, said Mieczyslaw Puzewicz, a spokesman for the Lublin diocese echoing my own view of women. Damn it, you can’t have women being disobedient. And if the State security apparatus can’t come out against disobedient women, then what the hell has this world come to? After all, what are police for, if not to attack women who disagree with the Vatican?
It seems that about 150 police in riot gear went into the compound to find the nuns defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments.
Now, in many ways, these were brave police. Imagine storming a compound where sixty-five nuns are singing Kumbaya badly, all at the same time. I wouldn’t be able to do it, but it seems these Polish police are made of tougher stuff than me. I suppose it’s a hangover from the Communist era, combined with extreme Catholicism.
Lublin Archbishop Jozef Zycinski called the police operation a last resort meant to help the ex-nuns:
Today’s police intervention was a sort of act of desperate aid for people who for the past two years have lived in very unusual conditions, in a closed environment, in seclusion, in uncertainty, where various forms of thought take shape.
(Archbishop Zycinski later denied that he had actually been referring to the Vatican).
According to reports, when the convent’s electricity was cut off earlier this year, sympathetic local residents brought them them food after dark.
OK. Let’s just take a moment to reflect.
This didn’t happen in the fourteenth century. This happened last week, in Poland, a modern European democracy, or so we’re asked to believe. Last week, in a modern, enlightened country, a member of the European Union, 150 riot police launched an assault on a dissident convent to enforce the Vatican’s will.
And then people wonder why they’re leaving Poland in their hundreds of thousands to come to Britain and Ireland? Figure it out!