What’s the Opposite of “Phallic”?
Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007I bumped into Mr Darwin this evening in a bar, of all places.
He demanded to know what the opposite of “Phallic” was, though I suspect he didn’t mean the opposite. I suspect he wanted the alternative.
Either way, I didn’t know the opposite to “Phallic” so I suggested “Phannic”, but that’s probably wrong.
Any ideas?
Feeling guilty that I couldn’t answer his phallic question, I felt I should offer something, and so I told him the joke Wrinkly Joe related last weekend while he was still sober enough to talk.
—–
The Balloon Family are going to bed, and Daddy Balloon thinks it’s about time Junior Balloon slept in his own bed.
Now look, Son. You’re fourteen. We only have a double bed, and you’re bigger than both of us, so it’s time you slept the entire night in your own room.
But Dad –
No! Off to bed now! No arguments.
In the middle of the night, Junior creeps out of bed and into his snoring parents’ room. Carefully, he undoes his father’s knot and lets out a little air. Then he unties his mother’s knot the same way, and finally he opens his own knot and releases some air until finally there’s enough room in the bed for everyone.
When he wakes up, his angry father is standing over him.
Son, he says, I’m disappointed in you. Not only did you let me down, but you let your mother down. And worst of all, you let yourself down!
——
Now. Back to business. What’s the opposite of “Phallic”?
Stumble it!
YOU'VE BEEN SHOUTING ABOUT ...
October 22nd, 2007
I’m in the flaccid camp. If you know what I mean?
October 22nd, 2007
Yonic.
October 22nd, 2007
Eolai: That’s a bit slack of you.
Nigel: I considered Yonic, but decided it was full of holes. Yonic is probably fine as the opposite of Lingamic, but I was really hoping for a Latinism.
October 22nd, 2007
Wophallic?
Phemic?
An inny? Innic?
October 22nd, 2007
Vagic?
October 22nd, 2007
Anything with a hole may legitimately be called yonic.
October 22nd, 2007
I liked our Ballygowan alternative concoction: ‘vulvic,’ though it appears now that the word should be ‘vulvar’ or, more oddly, ‘vulval.’ What’s a club’s term for a ‘non-member’ I wonder? & Weren’t we looking for a Greek word? If you want to have your cake and eat it, I’ve found some guy/gal called Agdistis from whom we can derive a dubious word like ‘Agdististical’.
October 22nd, 2007
The consensus on the net seems to be yonic. As in doughnut.
But I came across this
“phal·lus (fls)
1 b. The sexually undifferentiated tissue in an embryo that becomes the penis or clitoris.”
Forget Mars and Venus.
October 22nd, 2007
Now, Mr Darwin. See what you started.
October 22nd, 2007
the opposite of phallic is; cillchp???
either that or perhaps bushy?
‘wow that bulding is rather bushy’…. or maybe not!
October 22nd, 2007
Boobic?
October 22nd, 2007
Yonic and Vulvic are pretty standard. Feminists such as Luce Irigaray (”This Sex Which is Not One”) and Helene Cixous (”The Newly Born Woman”) explored the connection between women’s bodies and the their identity and writing.
Good stuff.
October 22nd, 2007
“Oh my godic”
October 22nd, 2007
cillahP?
October 23rd, 2007
Hmm, late to this… and surprised no one’s suggested cuntic.
October 23rd, 2007
I know. Not even Mr Major suggested it.
October 24th, 2007
Try this album on for size: Vulvic Yonification
October 24th, 2007
Mr Major’s probably too busy working on updating Huxley’s classic as a satire of our times. He’ll be calling it Cuntic Gay, I suppose.
October 24th, 2007
Mr Darwin: Nice and snappy.
Conan: Visceral and stercoraceous pap, no doubt.
October 28th, 2007
Primal sneeze, its phallic spelled backwards… I dunno I thought it was funny at the time! :(