Bertie, you're fucking caught, you crook.
British businessman Norman Turner gave you a bag of dollars and your Ministerial office processed his passport for him, even though he was entitled to an Irish passport anyway through his mother. Why was that, Bert?
Norman Turner brought you to several Manchester United matches, even though he hardly knew you, didn't he? What a nice guy! And at one of these matches, he handed you 10,000 American dollars. Would that be normal, Bert, that semi-strangers would hand you large amounts of American currency without warning or explanation, when you were Minster for FInance?
And at the same time, it was only a fluke that Norman Turner was also trying to get your support for the construction of a huge casino in the Phoenix Park. Only a fluke, Bert, isn't that right?
Yup, that's right, and all these dollars had nothing to do with the unexplained dollar lodgements to your account, right?
Right.
Bert, you're a lying fucking crook. You were up to your neck in crookery for decades and your cronies' greed has fucked up entire towns and cities in this country. Your cronies' bending of the planning laws has fucked up the fabric of our society, you crooked fucking crook.
Go now before you destroy us completely.
In the name of God, go!
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Related:
Lots more on Bertie from Bock : The Bertieverse
And the crook of all crooks, from whom Bertie first learned how to slither: Haughey
I wonder what nickname Paul "The Hack" Williams will give Bertie if we ever see the day dawn when he is finally held to account (when is hell due to freeze over?) and before a reformed legal system that would have the balls to jail such vermin. I'll go for Bertie"The Snipe" Ahern.
Although lying, sly, devious, fucking crooked little jackeen shitehawk will have to do for now.
He is like Fucking Michael Myers from the halloween movies,the worse things he does the more chance of him bouncing back…
Thanks btw to all the cunts in this country that voted these shower of devious corrupt fuck heads in again…
I would say that you deserve what you get but i live here too and am equally as fucked as them…If he doesnt resign in the next week he can do what he likes for evermore..
he would get away with murder even if was caught standing over the body with a drippin knife shouting "im glad i killed the bastard and i'd do it again…"
Norman mustn't have heard of passport express
Ah well, you know those high-powered successful billionaire businessmen. They get confused filling out forms.
Put him in stocks on the back of a Hilux and drive him around the country allowing members of the public kick him in the nuts. Give his gaff to CAB and put him out on the streets to request "A dig-out for a cuppa".
Ah ten thousand dollars wouldnt' buy ya a cuppa tea really.. what with the value of the dollar and that. :) He probably just used it as toilet roll.
I think he's the first scam artist to win the Turner Prize. Though Emin and Hirst critics might disagree. Bertie 'Blackjack' Ahern has a ring to it.
But let's throw the whole Bertie thing on its head. Seriously.
The world is obviously full of rich, generous folks ready to give a dig out to someone in need. Bertie must be only one of thousands of individuals who've been on the receiving end of such munificence. Right?
And the only reason he's getting attention is because he's a public figure. Right?
So, all we need to do is fess up to the tens of thousands of pounds/euros we've all been made a present of. Actually, I myself haven't had such luck, but I'm sure loads of people have. No?
True for you, Conan. You can't walk down the street without some rich fucker flinging bags of money at you on every corner. They're only picking on Bertie because he's the former finance minister and now head of government. I mean, so what?
It's looking harder and harder to escape indictment for this, but you know, I still wouldn't be surprised at one last slippery twist to get him out of the thing. You can never underestimate the sliminess of a man like this and he has probably greased a lot of palms in the past. An old friend might suddenly pop up with an explanation for everything.
Might be hard for Teflonicus' real old friend Charlie to pop up given his condition. And it's a lot warmer where he is too.