Phone Found in Catherine Nevin’s Cell
Jan 31st, 2008 | By Bock | Category: Crime, Policing, Scandal, gardaiWhat a fuckin achievement!
What a great day for crime-fighting in Ireland!
Today, prison officers found a mobile phone in the cell of a woman who was probably framed and wrongly convicted of murder. Isn’t that fucking great? Won’t that make a big hole in the crime stats? I bet the drug-dealing knackers running their empires from jail are terrified now that the word is out. (On the street, as we tuned-in, hip-to-gangsta-talk old bastards say). The word is on the street and that’s where it stays:
Not even desperadoes like Catherine Nevin are above the law.
Isn’t that right, Fachtna? I see you announced a new unit to fight organised criminals, and I must admit, Fachtna, I was astonished.
Why?
Well, I was astonished to discover that, although we’re up to our armpits in savage, lowlife, murdering, drug-dealing fucking skobes all over the country, there was no unit of our police force tasked with catching them and putting them in jail. Isn’t that good?
I bet there was a doughnut-eating unit, and a sleeping-up-an-alleyway-in-the-squad-car unit. And a getting-late-drinks-while-on-duty unit. And a special avoiding-trouble unit.
But no organised crime unit. Isn’t that great?
I have news for Fachtna: the crims have an anti-police unit, which is why the cops in our towns are afraid to take them on in a serious manner. They know where the cops live. They know where the cops’ children go to school. And the cops know that the savages know these things, which is why they don’t confront them the way they should.
Nope.
The boys and girls in blue are happier stopping you and me for walking crooked, or wearing a suspicious smile. And fattening their substantial arses with free doughnuts.
Oh, yes, and of course, charging the probably-innocent Catherine Nevin with possession of a phone in prison: an offence that carries a five-year sentence.
Nice one guys. Smooth.
It would be more in your line to go out and find who really did the killing, and while you’re at it, to charge the lying fuckers who manipulated Catherine Nevin into jail.
But what else are cell phones for?
Sorry, it’s been one of those days…
Up to this the organised crime unit was only a pilot scheme… eh, it’s beginning to make sense, wasn’t there a flying squad back in the 60s/70s?
Where did you say was it hidden?
Sorry, that’s rotten. Bad day for me too.
Now…today…in 2000 and fuckin’ 8 he decides that a few of the brave and fearless are to get off their arses and actually fight crime? As in do the job they were supposed to do when they finished training a.k.a. marching around Templemore Barracks with ramrods up their holes.
This could be serious, already cries of “Stop this madness, Fuchtna” have been heard from confectioners and coffee shop owners up and down the land. Word also coming through of corner shops cancelling orders for newspapers containing simplex crosswords.