Retail Therapy
Posted on Monday, January 7, 2008Well, after that violent experience, there was nothing for it but to go out and buy a 42″ tv.
Nah! Joking.
I actually bought the 42″ tv last week and there it sits now, glaring back at me.
It says Play a movie, ya fuckin bastard!
No.
A DVD. I want to show a big surround-sound action movie. With tanks. And war. And planes. And Arnie. And aliens.
When I’m ready. Fuck off. I’m listening to music.
Switch me on.
No.
Switch me on or I’ll explode.
No you won’t. You have no ray-gun.
Yes I fucking will. I’m a 42″ flat-screen HD tv.
Gotcha there then: I don’t have digital.
You what?
I only have the poverty channels.
What???
Well, I have about ten or twelve channels, but they’re all ordinary. No digi-shit for you, me bucko!
That was a cruel and unusual purchase. Take me back to the shop.
No.
I’ll explode.
Stumble it!
January 8th, 2008
Retail Therapy!!!
Ya big girl…
January 8th, 2008
I’ve known people who talked to their tellies. I’m afraid to report that, by and large, they tended towards a fixed narrative. Usually their stories ended with veal-calf eyes, pleading and a 1.5″ hypodermic needle.
I’m just saying…
January 8th, 2008
funny!
January 8th, 2008
My iMac feels the same way too, all it gets to do is blog…..poor thing
January 8th, 2008
Regarding a very different saucepan of salmon, dost anyone knoweth how to stop a thigh muscle twitching constantly perchance???? It is driving me to distraction.
January 8th, 2008
Well if you are looking to give it away free to a good home where it will be loved and given all the atention it wants , gove me a holler.
January 8th, 2008
Great Zucchini - cognitive behavioural therapy for thighs has shown some encouraging results - but you thigh has to be willing to change.
January 8th, 2008
No thanks Dear Squid,
My thigh wishes to stay where it is, despite my many objections to its behaviour…
PCB, dost that involve much infliction of pain? Ye thigh ist getting most uppity…
January 8th, 2008
This post exemplifies why I’m sticking with a 12″ TV screen for now -actually my MacBook’s screen is slightly bigger [13″] than my telly.
January 8th, 2008
suffering TV envy now mine is only 37 inch
January 8th, 2008
A wise accordionist (oxymoron) from spiddal was heard recently ascribing the death of the country pub, not to smoking and drink driving bans, but to large plasma screens, surround sound and central heating! On another sad note, Joe Dolan the artist, songwriter and founder member of Sweeneys Men passed away yesterday. Ar dheis Dé…
January 9th, 2008
Yeah very true galwaywegian. Some ppl do give you a very valuable education on things. Now where the fuck is that remote control.
January 9th, 2008
As Wrinkly Joe pointed out, this isn’t a good time to be called Joe Dolan.
January 9th, 2008
It’s too big. 42″ is too big. Surely?
January 9th, 2008
Not really. I have plenty of space for it.
January 9th, 2008
How? Do you live in a cinema?
January 9th, 2008
Jesus, the screen isn’t that big. Although, now that you mention it, I have a room I was thinking of turning into a home cinema, with a ceiling-mounted projector.
(Fucking to-do list!)
January 10th, 2008
And that’s all because I bought a telly? Fuckin hell.
January 10th, 2008
Are we sure Audrey was 100% sober while writing? I got a pain in my eyes.
January 11th, 2008
We are not sure of that. I’ve sent a team to investigate.
January 12th, 2008
maybe audrey needs to watch less television
and get some sleep
January 17th, 2008
Imagine if Audrey’s boyfriend finished with her. Imagine the letter he would receive, having been dipped in shite, and then dropped through his letterbox. Assuming she’s hetro. Bunny boiler……….
January 19th, 2008
oh Audrey, i have an imagination, of course i have dear, but there is a very thin line between sanity and where you are. no, i haven’t been dumped, of course i haven’t. because, i am……sane.
Have a good weekend boiling bunnies
January 20th, 2008
were you on the vino when you wrote that email Audrey? I’m not getting into any slanging match with you - i just feel you may be a bit highly charged….a bit like Bock’s telly.
January 20th, 2008
Fuck off ‘Gilly’ and leave well alone. Not your business if I’m sane or not. You’ve never been dumped because you are sane.. sounds a little potty to me.
January 21st, 2008
is this a cat fight ….. meow
January 21st, 2008
No Tonydee, I don’t catfight. Just my opinion that young Audrey here is a touch intense, as per her earlier 3 paragraph essay, on bock’s tv purchase. Obviously touched a nerve.
January 22nd, 2008
[Edited —- Bock]
January 22nd, 2008
What is the proper term for two men fighting? Is it dog fight (woof….) or cock fight?
January 22nd, 2008
I’ll tell you why Audrey, because I made a bit of a joke about you, you came back and slagged me off!! You didn’t touch any nerve. But you are getting on my nerves!!
January 22nd, 2008
Alberta: not sure. I’d go with cock fight!
January 23rd, 2008
Thanks for the bit of a joke ‘Gilly’.. funny too.
You assumed right.. I’m a hetro bunny boiling, intense, highly charged, on the verge of insanity young woman.. be aware.. be very aware. :)
January 23rd, 2008
and the battle continues ……ten paces ladies
January 23rd, 2008
Now now tony, i think you are enjoying this too much. Audrey, lets not give him ammunition…you’re not Audrey from Coronation Street, are you?? :-)