Gonad Gets Arrested

 Posted by on February 11, 2008  Add comments
Feb 112008

The phone rang. It was my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian: I’d recognise his soft snarl anywhere.

I’m in the hospital. Get down here quick!

Jesus, Gonad, I said, are you sick? Injured? Shot?

No. I’m being arrested. Come quick.

I was there in eight minutes and elbowed my way past the fat cop at the door. Let me through. I’m not a lawyer!

Gonad was in one of the bathrooms, restrained by two burly cops. A man in a white coat was lying on the ground being resuscitated. I noticed his clothes were soaking wet.

What happened here? I demanded.

Gonad stared at me. I never like to see that wild look in his eye.

This porter tried to make me take a bath before my minor surgical procedure.

It looked bad. Gonad has never washed in his life.

So, I urged. What happened?

What do you think happened? I held him under the water until he got sense.

I see. And the police were called?

Yeah. They’re going to charge me.

With assault?

No, he said, gesturing towards the unconscious man on the floor. The charge is dunkin’ this orderly.

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