Transexual Trout Baffle Boffins
Posted on Saturday, February 16, 2008The Shannon’s fish are changing sex. It seems there’s so much oestrogen in the water that the male fish are becoming female. How about that?
The thing I was wondering is this: how can they tell? But then I began to realise there are all sorts of signs if you know what to watch out for. I mean, all you’d need to do is watch them.
There’s two boy-fish, and you notice they’re both smoking.
Hey, Charlie, how’s life?
Bob! You’re lookin great. I think you lost weight.
You think so? Jesus I don’t know. These days, I just feel so bloated when I get up in the morning, y’know.
Oh I do. I do. Isn’t it awful? But what did you do to your gills? They’re looking fabulous!
Oh, nothing. I just teased them into place with a scallop shell.
Really? You must show me how. I can do nothing with mine.
I’d be thrilled to, Charlie. Why don’t we go for a coffee and I’ll tell you all about it. Anyway, I need to talk.
Yeah?
Yeah. I’m getting these feelings lately, y’know? Strange feelings I never had before.
You too? Jesus, I thought it was only me. An almost irresistible urge to …
Go shopping?
Yeah. That’s it. And I keep rearranging the rocks on the river-bed, but I can never find a layout that really suits me.
You got a new dorsal fin!
Yeah. It cost an arm and a leg, but it’s Italian. Ohmygod! You think it makes my arse look big! Ohmygod!
No. No. No. You’re just fabulous. Oh look. There’s Joe Salmon. Let’s call him over.
No. You can’t do that. I’m not talking to him.
What? Why not?
Why not? Are you blind? Didn’t you see the filthy look he gave me when he came in?
Stumble it!
February 16th, 2008
Amazing. It’s almost like you’re inside the whole experience..like ya know.
Is there something you’re not telling us?
Heh