More Motoring Problems
Posted on Thursday, April 3, 2008No, said the maniac mechanic. That won’t do.
Why not?
Because it’s a piece of shite, he said, looking at the second-hand turbocharger like Robert Ford might stare at a recently-murdered Jesse James.
It’s fine, I said.
It’s not, he insisted. Look at the free play on that shaft. It’ll explode like the old one.
Fuck, I muttered.
Indeed, he nodded.
And that was how I found myself sharing my misery with Parkenstein.
Turbo’s fucked.
Not to worry. You have the Nut’s BMW.
No. I haven’t.
No?
No. The fuckin alternator gave up on the BMW. And the power steering. We think it’s probably the belt tensioner.
Shit.
Shit, indeed.
Look, Parkenstein said. I have an idea.
What?
Why don’t we go for a pint?
Now he was talking my language. To the little-frequented semi-rural pub where everybody turns around to look at you when you walk in and if you’re a stranger you feel completely naked?
The same.
Excellent, I assented. Let’s go. Now!!
It isn’t a long walk to the little-frequented semi-rural pub where everybody turns around to look at you when you walk in and if you’re a stranger you feel completely naked, so we set off with a light heart as one does when meandering out for a pint on a fine spring evening.
Look here, old man, said Parkenstein. If you’re stuck for transport, you can always have the ridiculous little Japanese import fake sports-car with the glass roof that I bought years ago and left lying around outside my house to upset the residents’ association.
The one that stinks of mould and lets in water when it rains?
That one.
Perfect. Thanks.
And that’s why I’m now travelling around in a little thing with a glass roof and gull-wing doors that feels like you’re driving a fucking Go-Kart.
Jesus, I want my truck back.
___________________
Previously
Turbo Trouble
The Laughing Mechanic
Stumble it!
April 3rd, 2008
You’re such a whiner. I thought you were just going to buy that Maybach and forget about it.
April 3rd, 2008
Cannot wait to see you in it. Will you be wearing a skirt?
April 3rd, 2008
Talking of motoring difficulties, I got rear-ended yesterday. By a Garda. From the traffic corps.
I’m only glad I never had that pint after work!
April 3rd, 2008
So they’ve started already, have they? They didn’t wait long to take revenge on bloggers who criticised Bertie.
April 3rd, 2008
It could be worse Bock. My brother is 6ft 2 and a very big man and had to drive around in a Fiat 500 for a spell. Remember them? He nearly had to be folded into the thing and unfolded out of it. Its a real confidence killer to drive around in a grannymobile! And i’ve nothing against grannies.
April 3rd, 2008
A pretend DeLorean? Oh, a picture please. Please!! Go on.
April 3rd, 2008
There is a radio show here called ‘The Car Guys’.. They have two cardinal rules to buying a car.
1) Don’t buy a diesel.
2) Don’t buy a turbo.
So go get a Bugatti Veyron and quit messing with the old turbo.
April 3rd, 2008
i’m with conan, please post a picture, sugar! on the up side, at least you know people who have a spare car to loan out. i end up having to rent one!
April 3rd, 2008
Mr Darwin: The Maybach is too ostentatious for a man of my modest demeanour.
Red Mist: I’ll be wearing my usual lounge suit.
Gilly: I hope I never have anything against grannies either.
Conan: All right. Perhaps I will.
Brian: Looks like I’m totally fucked then. I’m not sure if a Bugatti Veyron would suit my understated style.
Savannah: True. You’d have to wonder why they have spare cars though.