Smart Telecom? I Don’t Think So!
Posted on Monday, May 12, 2008You can’t get through to anyone these days. Every time you phone a company, they put you in some automatic, pre-programmed, bullshit holding pattern.
It’s driving me crazy.
You can’t complain about anything. You can’t order anything. You can’t query a bill. Phone them up and the first thing you get is Stephen Hawking who wants to know what the hell you want. Press 1 for complaints. Press 2 for a mindless drone telling you your call is important. Press 3 for Greensleeves. Press 4 for another mindless drone telling you all their representatives are busy, please hold. What they really mean is the illiterate cretin they hired to mind the phone at the minimum wage is gone to the toilet for another smoke.
It’s driving me fucking crazy.
Of course, if you wanted to buy something, the automated answering system was always as slick as the green end of a goose’s shit.
New customer? Well, why didn’t you say so? and a hand on a spring pops out of your computer with a cigar and a pair of slippers.
No problem. Tick here. Say yes to that. No problem. Tick this. No problem. Would you like another glass of wine? And again here. No problem. Good.
Now fuck off and don’t try calling us to cancel this because you won’t be able to.
Ah, the good old days.
I phoned Smart Telecom to sign up because I was told their broadband service is better, and what happened?
Stephen Hawking, that’s what happened.
Your call is important to us. All our agents are busy. Please listen to this halfwitted music for an hour or two and your call will be answered in rotation.
Here’s what I’m thinking: if this is the way I’m treated when I want to give them money, imagine how they’d be if I had a problem.
Rotation, Smart Telecom?
Rotate on this!
Stumble it!
May 12th, 2008
The only thing worse is the robots who call me. Usually it is some recorded message telling me that “This is an important business call……”
If it were that important I would think an actual human would be doing the calling.
May 12th, 2008
An observation. ‘Help line’ is a misnomer. A help line is normally located on a continent where English is not a native tongue and a Customer Service desk is normally populated by people who couldn’t give a shit if you live or die. Companies do this to ensure that to report a complaint or make a query is as difficult as possible and the end result is that you will think twice before you try again. This means that they can advertise that their customer service is available 24/7 while ensuring that customers will use the service as little as possible and at the same time the cost to the company is minimal. Boycott any company that uses an automated customer answering service or uses an off-shore help desk. And see where that will get you….
May 12th, 2008
Interestingly enough, I had to call the Dell help line today, and I spoke to an extraordinarily helpful, articulate and courteous Indian fellow. English might not be the first language for everybody in India, but my tech guy spoke better English than most people in these islands.
Unfortunately he couldn’t fix the problem, but that wasn’t his fault: the problem was caused by my stupidity.
May 13th, 2008
as slick as the green end of a goose’s shit.
Ha!
May 13th, 2008
Unfortunately he couldn’t fix the problem, but that wasn’t his fault.
I just hate it when the problem is between the keyboard and the chair.
May 13th, 2008
who are you with for your Broadband?
May 13th, 2008
Ah, but they all have a marketing department and/or a pr department. They’re not people like you or I but they are people, and usually they’re based in the country. Think of them as the corporate achilles heel. Works for me every time, although it can initially be hard to find a number for them. I got money back from BT going this route, after pointless hours with their “customer care” line.
May 13th, 2008
OD: BT. Their service is just about ok.
Conan: I find it amazing that I’d have to work hard to buy their service.
May 13th, 2008
if i was you i would try digiweb or Chorus,i have had both and they are good.chorus is only available in cabled parts of limerick city but Digiweb is available across the county..
as for customer service,i never had any trouble so i didnt have to go through that particular nightmare..
May 13th, 2008
Just watch out for the contention ratio… the speeds they advertise are meaningless if you’re sharing ‘the pipe’ with too many other busy users.
May 13th, 2008
well i currently have chorus and the contention is stated as 17:1 but its actually lower as its on a cable network contention isnt that much of an issue..
Digiweb was qouted as 24:1 but i think that this has gone down as they upgraded their system recently..
here is a thread on boards.ie that might help
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=95197