World’s Worst Customer Support Person Works For Smart telecom

I don’t know how the internet works and I don’t want to know.  That’s what techie friends are for.

Now, you might remember my complaints about trying to sign up with Smart Telecom and having to wait on the line.  And you might recall that I said I’d never use them.  Well I did sign up with them because my Mobile Support Unit told me they have the best broadband around, with zero contention, whatever that means.

This time I got straight through to a very nice sales person who told me everything I wanted to know.  I was particularly anxious to make sure that I wouldn’t lose my internet connection during the change-over from my old ISP to Smart, but he set my mind at rest.

No problem.  Your modem will arrive before we take over the line.

It didn’t.

Yesterday, my internet died.  It was no more, so I phoned Smart this morning and spoke to a very nice woman.

I’m Bock.  I’m moving my account from OldISP to you, and now I have no broadband at all.

One moment, Mr Bock while I check for you.  Ah yes.  I see.  The modem was dispatched yesterday, and we took over the line.

I have no broadband, I said.

Yes, said the very nice woman.  We shouldn’t have moved the line until next week.  Look, I’ll see if I can get a modem delivered to you today.  Give me your mobile number and I’ll call you back.

She didn’t.

This afternoon, I called again and spoke to a man.

I’m Bock.  I’m moving my account from OldISP to you, and now I have no broadband at all.

Yeah.  You should have it on Tuesday.

That’s no good to me.  I have no broadband now.

It isn’t a problem.

Excuse me?  What do you mean it isn’t a problem?

I didn’t say that.

Yes you did.

You must be hearing things.  You’re putting words in my mouth.

What?  Are you really a customer support person?


And I’m a customer.  And you’re telling me I’m wrong.  This isn’t a very good start, is it?

I’m trying to explain to you that we have an automated system here.

I don’t care about your system.  I have no broadband, despite the fact that your salesman told me this wouldn’t happen.  I wouldn’t have signed up with you if I knew my internet would be down.

The sales guy couldn’t have told you that.

I specifically asked him.  Are you saying I made it up?

I don’t like your tone.

You’re not really a customer support person at all, are you?

I don’t like your tone.  You’re putting words in my mouth, so I’m going to put you on to my supervisor now.



Good.  Put me on to your supervisor now.

Um, he’ll call you back.

He didn’t.


However. A very nice and helpful tech guy called Asif phoned back and worked his way through the problem until he got my old modem working with their system. Now, admittedly, it doesn’t take Einstein to do this, but still, full marks to Asif for sticking with it and for being polite.  No marks to the ill-mannered fool Smart Telecom employ to support their customers.  Sorry, I meant to say “get rid of their customers”.

8 thoughts on “World’s Worst Customer Support Person Works For Smart telecom

  1. Because I’m also with Smart, I’m embarrassed vicariously. I’ve had no problems with them, and had great service; though admittedly I haven’t had to talk to anyone at Smart in a year or two.

    At the very least, Bockles, you’ll get good connectivity. It’s not true that there is ‘no contention,’ it’s just that their system is self-adjusting at load times–you’ll still see troughs.

    But I am a little surprised you thought you needed their modem–they’re all the same! Do you write for CSI by any chance?

  2. Mr Darwin: you should know by now that I haven’t the slightest interest in coming to grips with the technology. I thought I needed their modem. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know.

    But if it was that simple, why didn’t the arrogant fool who answered me inform me of this fact instead of trying to intimidate and threaten me?

  3. I heard (I think it was her) Ann Fitzgerald of the NCA the other morning on the radio saying that the reason why goods and services in Ireland are so expensive is that people pay for them – although it states the obvious I kind of admired her for saying that. I think, when we do accept a good or service that is expensive (and I include the hassle you have had with Smart as an “expense” on your time) we are accepting the shite that permeates what really is bad in this country right now.

    You should bring this up somewhere else – you should let them know that shite service is not expensive and we should get discounts every time we have to interfer with their shite service and still be expected to pay the high prices for it!

    BTW – great stuff on the Munster achievement – here’s hoping that gets translated into success in the Green jersey! I do hope Mr. Kidney is the leader to unite the “tribes”!

  4. Oh, I’ll bring this up elsewhere, believe me. I won’t be treated like that by anyone. My hours cost about twenty times what that moron is worth, and I have every intention of asking for it back from Smart Telecom.

    I’ll post frequent and regular updates on this.

  5. Good to hear – we all should be doing our bit to not let these bastards away with this.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.