Eucharistic Congress for Dublin in 2012

A Eucharistic Congress in Ireland, by Jesus.  How appropriate, and not a second too soon.


How we pine for the glory days of 1932 when priests stalked every dance-hall and evil literature was censored.  Don’t we miss the Irish Enlightenment, when foreign books were unheard of and a local filth-monger like Seán Ó Faoláin called himself The Leader of the Banned?

Happy, happy days, when nobody needed to think.  Great days when a kindly Church would do any thinking you required, and tell you what your opinion was.

Great days when a Catholic Archbishop had the final say on drafting our constitution.  When nuns used unmarried mothers as slaves in their laundries.  When Christian Brothers abused, raped and tortured little boys in their industrial schools.  When contraception was illegal.  When clerical child-abusers were above the law.  When mad, religious gauleiters turned this country into a Catholic Albania.

Isn’t it fucking marvellous?

Another Eucharistic Congress, by Jesus, and how apt.

It’ll fit in just fine with 2012, by which time we’ll be out of the European Union, and it’ll be just like back in de Valera’s day.  Our politicians will be down on their knees again, kissing some bishop’s fucking ring.  With a cultural and economic wall around us, we’ll be the envy of the world, as we gather together in our cosy mud cabins, telling each other the old, old stories, in between drug-addled bursts of the fucking Rosary.  Proud, uncorrupted and strong in our beliefs.

Christ, the blood stirs in my veins as I think about it.  All those legions of staunch Catholics marching behind their frilly banners in their monochrome trench-coats and flat caps.  A new Ireland, by God, and none of those foreign European johnnies telling us how to run our business. And what a wonderful job we’ve made of it so far, with a health service that leads the world, an education system second to none, and a twenty-fifth century public transport system.


Just nod and say yes.

All we need now is a Dev figure and a crazy bishop.  We already have the mad, fascist Catholic gang: Youth Defence, or Cóir as they prefer to call themselves now that they’re no longer so youthful.  Maybe Sinéad O Connor might volunteer as the bishop.


I’m a bit stuck for the Dev candidate, and any suggestions would be welcome.  I’m thinking that Declan Ganley, another foreign-born leader, might fit the bill, but these are trifling matters.  What counts now is that Ireland is back on the right track.  Strong, individual, Catholic and in its rightful position, with its back turned firmly to the world and its head in the sand.

God will provide.



Previously on Bock

Das Papahund

Ratzo’s Leap

Cardinal Error: Brady Gets the Red Hat

The Mobile Consecrator Rises Again

Half God, Half Biscuit

Superstition, Witch-doctors and Other Religious Bullshit

19 thoughts on “Eucharistic Congress for Dublin in 2012

  1. Whoopee, Is Benny coming over for the gig?. Fuck me, a Eucharistic Congress and return to Coir values. I can see it now, “youngfella, bend over or Fr. Sinead will have you turned into a goat”, as the Celtic Cubs get a hard lesson in reality and find out there’s more than one meaning to the word “congress”. Happy days are here again.

    Can I still apply for an EU passport ? – anywhere except UKip please – will learn lingo, buy house, work, not claim, eat the local food, etc., before the coalition of d’insane vote us out of Europe altogether and declare the 51st State of holiness, with McAvaddy and Ganley supervising brand new shiny air-bases for Christianity’s warmongers.

  2. Powerful essay. I know the tongue is partially in the cheek and all that and maybe your younger readers might not actually appreciate that EVERYTHING you’ve written here about Ireland is actually within living memory. It happened. That was Ireland not so long ago.

    The Eucharist Congress in 1932 occurred ’round the same time as the suppressed Carrigan Report :

    The suppressed political debates surrounding the Carrigan Report authorized Ireland’s institutional containment of perceived “sexual immorality.” Moreover, although never explicitly articulated, this was legislatively provided for by the Criminal Law Amendment Act (1935). Reinterpreting this period in Irish social history in light of recently released archival material underscores how the Church and state shared an agenda in effecting this legislative and institutional infrastructure. All parties to these discussions favored the containment of extramarital sexual practice in institutions managed by religious orders. By handing control for these institutions over to the Catholic Church, the state not only failed to assert independence in social provision but also abdicated responsibility for the most vulnerable of the nation’s citizenry. Disposing of sexualized women and children in religious institutions rendered the compromising reality of their existence invisible. In return, the nation secured its identity as a Catholic and morally pure society. (excerpt) .. SOURCE:

    Carrigan Report (full text)

    It’s dangerous times we live in – akin to the resurgence of fascism.

  3. So it’s a celebration of the sacraments but the accompanying religious frenzy is what’s at issue, is that right?

    I was reading that 25% of the Irish population attended in 1931 when it was probably hard as hell for people to get there. I’m wondering what the numbers will be like in 2008. I would be surprised, even with all the modern transport options available if 1 in 4 Irish people will show up for it. I’d be surprised if 10% showed up. The can of worms that is the Catholic Church is opened now so fully that I reckon it’ll take more than waving about a few wafers and some wine to get people to forget the rank injustices perpetuated on them by a wicked regime of bishops, priests and nuns.

  4. We, the residents of NSW have quietly allowed our state government to open the coffers for the annual meeting of the young catholics, presided over by the big german kahuna himself. It’s all under the counter and strictly “in confidence” and no amounts of freedom of information requests are getting answers on costs from the lads.
    Best estimates to far are around $120 million and rising, as they invariably do.
    We’ve handed over the city and the harbour. and the racecourse…
    They’re exhuming some dead italian and are flying him over for the faithful to pray over. The stations of the cross are being set up all around the harbour and actors have been picked and are rehearsing their parts.
    Mother of fuck. Is this the world in 2008?
    If this is how the catholic Aussies run the show prepare for unholy orgasms when the Irish crowd get up and running.

    Would they do it for the muslims?
    or the jews?
    or the people who like star trek?

    Like fuck…

  5. Snookertony. Sounds like Uberscheissfuerher Justin Barrett is hitting your way to observe the rallies and outdo them at the Dublin gig. btw, Have Australia got a Youth Defence wing yet? Leave that nut in and you will.

    Now would be a good time to invest in torch lights and the armband industry in NSW….and in Ireland shortly afterwards.

    I was worried about us going back to the ‘fifties, but oh fuck, didn’t realise the 1930’s was the destination all along.

    Problemchildbride, that 10% (in reality I’d put it at 20%) are still loud and influential to enough to turn events their way – as witnessed in the Referendum – when allowed to fill enough minds with unfounded fears and lies.

  6. “clerical child-abusers were above the law”

    No, they WERE the law, as a few guards discovered when they presumed to make enquiries.

    Don’t worry about Coir, it’s devious Opus and the Knights of Columbanus that need to be monitored.

  7. Good writing Bock, but the photos really make your piece. Apocalyptic nightmarish stuff. Who’s that kissing the bishops ring? At least its only the one on his finger – others were not so lucky!

  8. It’s the Lord Mayor of Dublin in 1932, grovelling before the Papal Legate, Cardinal Lorenzo Lauri, a pompous old git.

  9. Cóir or Corps, hmmm, it has a rather nasty military sounding name to it to be honest. the pulpity shots of these rabid loonies in one of the Referendum posts of yours send a shiver down me spine.
    I’m sure the bockschloss however will profit from the increase in sales of the mobile consecrators, or maybe you have a more insidious plan, Á lá Schindler maybe??? an underhanded mass corruption of the faithful perhaps. Hmm, now to get out the Black Bible for the correct verbage….

  10. “I’m a bit stuck for the Dev candidate, and any suggestions would be welcome.”

    An tAire Éamon O Cuív, TD, An Roinn Gnothaí Pobail, Tuaithe agus Gaeltachta. Not sure where Éamon stands on th’oul religion, but he’s a dead ringer for his grandfather. :)

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