Garden Finally Finished

Posted on Monday, June 2, 2008

I’m tired and sweaty. I’m covered in dirt. Sweaty, tired and dirty.

Bullet and myself have been slogging away over the entire sunny weekend, trying to finally sort out the surroundings of the house. You might remember the time I was nearly killed last summer when I overturned a digger in the back garden and had to jump for my life. That was after I finally managed to get my hands on the machinery following many frustrations

Oh how the Rockhopper laughed at my brush with near-certain death, and how I chuckled as I flung the four-pound lump hammer at his head. Carefree days.

It all started when I decided to remodel the house and asked an architect friend for advice.

Knock that wall. And that wall. And that one. Take out that floor. Build a stairs there. Block up that door. Knock that wall too.

And so I did. Myself and the Rockhopper made complete shit of the house and demolished walls everywhere, and flung them out in the back garden in a huge pile of filthy nettle-growing rubble. That was before I lost the head completely and demolished another wall to remodel the kitchen.

Something had to be done, and so, last summer, the Rockhopper came back and we brought heavy machinery and moved about a hundred tons of rubble to a more sensible location, and I went on to build a huge rockery and extend the patio over the whole lot, which is what I’ve been slaving at for the last twelve months. The tracks also tore the shit out of any lawn I might have had, and that’s another thing I’ll have to deal with, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. I hate grass anyway, and eventually I’ll probably cover the whole lot with gravel, put in a pond, raise some hundred-year-old Koi carp, kill them and eat them.

But now I’m finished.

Now I can tidy up and start planting. And having barbecues. And parties. And hanging speakers from the trees. And getting drunk.

Just a few more wheelbarrows of dirt to be moved. A small bit more.

Come on Bullet, you lazy bastard. Put down that guitar and get out there!

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8 Responses to “Garden Finally Finished”

blimper
June 2nd, 2008
“”moving rubble to a more sensible location”"
Tell this is not Limerickspeak for flytipping? See You in Nov for the All Blacks game. I enjoy your rants
Bock
June 2nd, 2008
I don’t speak Limerickspeak and I fucking hate fly-tipping. I mean moving the rubble to a better place in my garden for building patios on.

Thanks for good wishes.
Dan Sullivan
June 2nd, 2008
I’ve been at the garden myself Bock. The back garden is quite small, and has a fierce incline so I’m leaving part of it to give myself something for sitting out on. Nice enough weather for it, apart from the couple of shock monsoons that is.
Bock
June 2nd, 2008
Good man, Dan. I know. The mini-monsoons hit us as well. What the fuck?

If your garden has an incline, you might consider terracing it.
Dan Sullivan
June 2nd, 2008
I meant levelling part of it, so I’m sort of terracing.
Sniffle&Cry
June 3rd, 2008
Leave the garden alone, it can look after itself. Or the neighbours will in time.
His Girl Friday
June 3rd, 2008
overturned the digger? Bock yer not supposed to drink and dig at the same time!
(glad you survived!) :)

ps skip the Koi and go straight to the Trout….better on the barbie! ;)
His Girl Friday
June 3rd, 2008
pps. that would be trout with butter, lemon pepper, and Cajun-Creole Louisiana spice, wrapped up in foil on the barbie… :)