Goosed. Fucked. Knackered. Bollixed. Kiboshed. Stuffed. Ruined. Shattered.
That’s it. We’re buggered.
According to the Economic and Social Research Institute, the party’s over and we’re all up Shit Creek without a fucking paddle. Furthermore, they’re right. We are screwed, and we deserve it for persuading ourselves that we had a vibrant economy when in reality all we had was one gigantic motherfucker of an overdraft.
Well, Charlie McCreevy knew, when he was giving away to his pals in the building industry and the bloodstock industry the proceeds of the most prosperous years this country has ever known. And he knew when he was handing the people bread and circuses, by cutting taxes to the bone, instead of investing in infrastructure, and by giving free money to the middle classes through the SSIA scheme. (Don’t get me wrong: you’d be a fool not to take it). All of which is is why he fucked off to Brussels to get his snout into the Commission trough while the going was good. Nice one, Charlie, the only English-speaking Commissioner in history who needs an interpreter to translate what he says into English.
And Brian Cowen knew, when he succeeded Charlie as Finance Minister. It didn’t stop him continuing with the same lunatic spendthrift policies, buying one election after another.
And Bertie Ahern knew as well, but he was too busy trying to slither his way out of his various scandals, and making up lies to tell the Tribunals, and making up more lies to tell the country on the six o’clock news, and too busy trying to hide his money from his ex-wife, and too busy keeping his appalling girlfriend happy and too busy kissing the arses of his former employers, the nuns, who seemed to have something very embarrassing on him.
Where are the hospitals we need? Where are the railways? Where’s the energy policy? Where are the schools? Where’s the broadband? Where’s the investment in research and development? Where are all the things that this country needed to face the future with confidence?
Will I tell you?
Nowhere. That’s fucking where. Nowhere, because these muppets who’ve been in government for too long didn’t have the imagination to realise that we needed these things.
Because they’re a sad, incompetent bunch of half-witted, half-educated bums, that’s why.
Because behind it all, they’re a bunch of clumsy, loudmouth buffoons who feel uncomfortable in civilised company, and who are owned, body and soul, by big business. This crowd of arseholes have taken the biggest boom the country has ever known, and they’ve pissed it up against the wall.
If the electorate votes for these gobshites again, we deserve everything we get. And do you know something? The opposition are no better. No fucking better. Just another crowd of half-arsed gobshites in ill-fitting suits and dodgy hairpieces.
What a fucking country.
Previously on Bock