Summer in Ireland
Posted on Wednesday, June 25, 2008It’s high summer, which means it isn’t freezing cold and pouring rain all the time.
No. Instead, it’s just chilly and showery, which is how you know the difference between an Irish summer and an Irish winter.
Now, I happened to glance at the sky, and it seemed calm enough, so I thought this might be a good time to dispose of all those weeds that infested the patio after I rebuilt it. What is it about weeds? How do they find out? Is there some kind of weed internet? Bock has a new footpath. It’s empty. Get on over there and infest the bastard!
So I went out to the shed and I got that awful weedkiller that’s been lying around on a shelf for about five years waiting to accidentally poison someone. And then I rooted through the heap of rusty old trowels, bent copper pipe, broken light fittings, sewer rods and slimy pieces of rope that everyone has in their sheds. Don’t they?
Of course they do, so I dug out the sprayer that I bought in Lidl three years ago and never used. A nice one, with a handle at the top to pump up the pressure, and a hose with a nozzle. Excellent. I measured out the poison, added water, screwed in the cap and started pumping. Great. I could feel the pressure building up, but unfortunately so could the sprayer, and it didn’t like it, so it released a great glob of foaming poison all over my feet. Here. See how you fuckin like it, it muttered, in cheap-plastic-sprayer language.
It’s that special weedkiller that soaks through the leaves and kills the bastards from the inside, but it’s important to let it dry out thoroughly or it won’t do the trick. Because my cheap Lidl sprayer doesn’t work properly, I had to go around on my knees, pumping the handle gently and dribbling little droplets of death on the individual weeds, one at a time, which is an ugly business and makes you feel like an ethnic cleanser. Not good.
Not good at all, but I hardened my heart and got the job finished. All I need to do now is let the weedkiller soak in and all my problems are over.
And then what happened?
Ah, what the hell do you think happened? That’s right. It rained.
Hey, what else could you expect at the height of an Irish summer?
Stumble it!
June 25th, 2008
Aha! So it’s an Irish Summer we’ve been having in Scotland this year and last then, is it? Clearly that gap between Stranraer and Belfast isn’t preventing a cross weatherly amalgamation
June 25th, 2008
That’s AyreS, dammit, with an S at the end.
June 25th, 2008
Hello Mr Ayres. I suspect that we share the same weather here and in Scotland, but I’m not sure about Norn Iron. I think they still have the good, solid, old-fashioned no-nonsense Ulster weather that King Billy gave them.
June 25th, 2008
Been there done that. I spent over a week trying to spray paint a long fence in Kerry last year, (and I was supposed to be on holidays). The weather would be lovely every time I started, and would begin to piss just as I was about half way through and the fence was still wet. I was back a few weeks ago and only got it finished then.
That said, a San Francisoc summer is worse. It’s fucking freezing here, as it always is in June. The place becomes foggy and windy until late August.
June 25th, 2008
Glyphosate (Roundup)? Am I right?
If so,then you should be fine. The intake by the leaves is very fast especially with the warmth (anything above 7deg.) today.
Leave it 10-14 days before you bother re-
sprayblobbing.June 25th, 2008
So, I thought that it was only in Wales that that kind of thing happened!
June 25th, 2008
Primal: It’s glufosinate ammonium but I think it acts pretty much the same way as glyphosate.
Mary: it happens here a lot, though I have to say, our experience of Welsh weather last month wasn’t the best. (Not that we cared too much, having just won the European Cup).
June 25th, 2008
Bock, right now I’d go out and dance about in my skanties if it would only rain. Last week temperatures reached 109 in Ojai and although the promised cool-down has come it has only cooled down to 98.
June 26th, 2008
Sam, we’d like a bit of that heat. Can you share?
Bock, you’re not going brown and wrinkly from the head down?
June 26th, 2008
i keep hoping that lightning will strike the little fuckers down in my courtyard…I mean, have you ever knelt on bricks trying to weed between the blasted things? xoxo
June 27th, 2008
Sam: Your cooled down weather would be about 36.5 Celsius. That’s insane.
Conan: You know I’m already brown and wrinkly.
Savannah: Yes. I’m dealing with bricks too. Pain in the arse.