I didn’t go to Oxegen, I’m not going to Electric Picnic, and this is starting to look like a worrying trend. I’m kicking myself a little bit that I wasn’t organised enough to buy a ticket, but there’s another side to why I didn’t go to Oxegen.
I think I’d feel too old.
Now, this is a bit strange when you consider some of the artists performing there. REM, Eddy Grant, the Manic Street Preachers. Echo and the Bunnymen. The Stranglers, for fucksake. These are the musicians that people of my age listened to while we bounced our baby children on our knee, so what the fuck happened? Our baby children grew up and said fuck off, you should be at home listening to Elton John. It doesn’t matter what you say. It makes no difference trying to point out that you were listening to this music before — and possibly while — they were conceived.
On top of that, I introduced my children to the music of My Morning Jacket, the National, the Hold Steady. Not to mention fucking Alabama 3, which is the final insult: not only did my daughter start taking an interest in their music, but she also became good friends with the fuckers.
This is an outrage. Don’t they realise I’m an award-winning music writer? Now, they’re all at the goddam concert, while I grumble at you about being too old.
How did this happen? I’d like to hear Rage Against the Machine. I want to hear MMJ live, and Amy Winehouse while she’s still alive, which won’t be long more. I’d like to hear Groove Armada shakin that ass. I want to hear the Prodigy, the Kaiser Chiefs and the Fratellis. I really, really want to hear the Raconteurs, but the place would be full of annoying seventeen-year-olds and I’d want to hit them.
Oh wait! Maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m just too grumpy to go.
Well, that makes me feel better. Thanks for listening.
Now, I wonder if there are any tickets left for the Electric Picnic?
Also on Bock the Robber: