Baby on Board stickers in car windows. What the fuck is that all about?
Do they think I’m a homicidal but baby-loving maniac? Do they think the baby is going to save them?
Just what exactly is this sign supposed to achieve?
Do they think I’ll be thundering along behind them in the Bockmobile, wondering who I’m going to shunt over the edge of a cliff?
Oh look. There’s a horrible little Nissan Micra. They must die!
But wait! There’s a fuckin baby on board. I can’t bulldoze these bastards to their doom over the edge of this thousand-foot precipice. They have an icky bicky baby on board. Awwww!
Do they really think that, or what the fuck do they think?
What is this sign going to change? If it isn’t a plea for mercy then what exactly is it?
Baby on Board. Please become a much better driver than you were a minute ago you blind incompetent bastard.
Maybe that’s what the sign means, but I’m afraid they’re in for a shock.
Blind incompetent wrong-way-round-the-roundabout bastards will always be stupid and incompetent and the potential source of your demise. That’s why they’re blind idiots. They can’t see the fucking Baby-on-Board sign, and even if they did, they can’t read the fucking thing.
Maybe they’re just telling the world they managed to produce a child after years of trying. Look everyone! See what we can do! We called it Chardonnay.
So what? Every lowlife and welfare scrounger in the world is able to pop out a dozen of the fuckers at a moment’s notice. What do you want – a fucking medal?
Seriously. What difference does it make? Would these people care if I had a sign in my window saying Zombie on Board? Would they? I ask you, would they? Would it make the tiniest difference to their stupid driving habits, the fools?
Suppose I put a sign in my car window saying Savage Drooling Lycanthropic Fucking Werewolf In This Fucking Car, do you think it would make the slightest difference to their driving? I think not, even though my lycanthrope is straining to bite their heads off.
So why the fuck are they telling me they have a baby? I don’t care if they have a baby. I’ve had my own babies and thank fuck they’re grown up now.
Thank you Jebus!!
I address this to the muppets with the sign in their window. Listen for just one minute. No. Just shut the fuck up and listen for once. The baby is going to grow up into a pathetic, overweight, welfare-scrounging aggressive baseball-cap-wearing hoodied fucker like you. It makes no difference if anyone ploughs into your car at a thousand miles per hour, or to be more exact, yes it does: the world will be a better place, you fucking numpty, if the entire hive gets wiped out.
So, to the people with the Baby on Board sticker, I say Fuck off with your horrible, scrounging, burger-addicted baby and make sure it doesn’t shit on me, the dirty little fucker.
I now know what the Baby-on-Board sticker means. It means Idiot. It says This car contains an entire family of unevolved dimwits. Now’s your chance to wipe them all out. Do it!
Next time I see one of these signs in a car window on the edge of a thousand-foot precipice, there’ll be no awwwing and oooohing out of Bock.
Certainly not. Next time it’ll be pedal to the metal.
Oh yeah. That’s right. No more Mr Nice-Guy.