Life In President McCain’s White House
Posted on Saturday, August 30, 2008Ring ring … ring ring …
- Vice-President Palin speaking.
- Uh, hi Sarah. This is John here.
- John who?
- John McCain. The President?
- …
- Sarah? Are you there?
- …
- Sarah, I know you’re there. I can hear you breathing.
- Where have you been all night?
- Sarah, we need to talk.
- We have nothing to talk about.
- Yes we do Sarah. The Russians have fired a nuclear missile at Poland.
- Fine.
- We need to do something about it.
- Huh! I’m sure you’ll manage without me, like always.
- Sarah, what’s wrong?
- Nothing.
- I know there’s something wrong. Did I do something to you Sarah?
- Well, if you have to ask, there’s no point.
- Sarah, the world is about to explode. I need to meet the Chief of Staff and issue an order.
- OK. You just go right ahead and do that.
- Sarah, I don’t know why you’re being like this. Can’t we talk it over?
- Talk it over with your buddies. You never talk to me anyway, so leave me out of it. I’m busy.
- You’re busy? The Russkis have started a nuclear war and you’re busy?
- Yes. I’m washing my hair. If you were a real man you’d understand.
- Sarah, I need to explain something to you.
- Please do.
- We’re going to war with Russia.
- How dare you say my ass looks big!
- But I didn’t –
- You’re always putting me down.
- But Sarah, I selected you as my running mate.
- That’s only cos I was runner-up in the Miss Alaska contest. Have you the slightest idea what I’m going through right now?
- Sarah. The Russians have nuked Poland.
- I don’t care! Nothing fits me this morning.
- OK Sarah. I’ll just leave you alone then, will I?
- Thanks a lot!
Stumble it!
August 30th, 2008
Something tells me that you wouldn’t have posted anything like this if Obama had picked a woman VP. I understand your issues with the GOP, but this was just plain sexist. Frankly, I’m disappointed Bock. I love your risque style of blogging, but this is a bit much, even for you.
August 30th, 2008
Oh, I’m going to be in trouble over this …
August 30th, 2008
Way to go BOCK!
August 30th, 2008
I thought she might have finsihed with - “Fine”
Sexist pig Bock.
August 30th, 2008
I know. Wouldn’t you think I’d have more sense?
August 30th, 2008
Been there,done that,sold a ton of books.Ha.
August 30th, 2008
Oh howya Salman. Any chance of a room in your house for a couple of years?
August 30th, 2008
C’mon over…I’ll put the kettle on.The Danish Cartoonist fella left a rake of drink so we’ll be grand for a while.
Bring us some rashers and a cottage loaf if you think of it.
August 30th, 2008
Ya sexist thing you. And we can all hate the GOP in ways that aren’t sexist, be honest.
You’re getting lazy, mate. Shame on you. Think about the fact that she’s against abortion, loves to go hunting (she has a moose on her wall, for Christ’s sake) and has a campaign against a lobbyist because he broke up with her sister. Painting her as just a dumb woman… well, I’m surprised at you.
This is just ordinary, ignorant guy hatred. I could have heard this down in the pub. That’s what I get for believing in ya.
August 30th, 2008
Actually, just to correct myself, turns out the guy was a state trooper;
http://apocalyptickiwi.wordpress.com/2008/08/30/palin-vs-wooten/
Still mad at you Bock.
August 31st, 2008
Hi Bock,
thanks for the laugh. I was in the doc’s office when they announced this…and I said, “who?”
ugh, the whole thing is such a, well, there ain’t no words for it. I’m still for none of the above.
hey, right now I honestly could care less about politics and more that I’m just alive….I was almost killed by a drunk driver last Tuesday. I happened to be driving our work truck; if I were in my car (which was in the shop) it’s the consensus that I would be dead (or worse)
There’s a photo on my blog of the truck before and after. :/
August 31st, 2008
Naughty.
But funny…
But still kinda bold…
But that’s why we read ya….
But still -tsk tsk
August 31st, 2008
Why tsk tsk?
The woman is no Hillary. And I have a feeling Bock wouldn’t have written this if H was the one in question. For god’s sake … Palin is a former beauty queen whose main claim to fame is involvement in the PTA and being mayor of her local town. She’s governor (for a brief period) of the least populated state in the USA. (She’s also a creationist, and pro-death penalty, but that’s typical Rethug stuff.)
McCain is 72. Obama is 47. And if Obama gets hit by a bus (or worse), he has Biden behind him.
If McCain kicks the bucket while in office, Palin is going to handle security and foreign policy and be “Commander in Chief”? Run two wars?? Make decisions about e.g. Georgia and Russia? Have her metaphorical finger on the metaphorical red button?
I’ve read at least one column by a ‘feminist’ writer in the USA who called Palin an ‘insult’. If the GOP are thinking of picking up Hillary voters by nominating Palin … surely they have another think coming. And to think the GOP called Obama ‘inexperienced’. Do they have any notion of the meaning of the word hypocrisy? They want Palin one hearbeat away from being ‘Commander in Chief’? It’s a joke.
But you know the worst part??? McCain is still up there, in the running.
Yayy! My rant for today …
August 31st, 2008
Walls —
No, it’s not hatred of any kind.
Tell you what, why don’t you send me your list of things we’re forbidden to laugh at, and I’ll confine myself to poking fun at the permitted subjects.
August 31st, 2008
Sure - don’t suggest women are stupid just because they are women, cos eveyone knows women are by their nature are incapable of leadership or rational thought.
There ya go.
August 31st, 2008
You’re being hysterical.
September 1st, 2008
Jaysus Bock, you’re getting it from all sides - unlike the ultra-righteous Sarah Palin. Oh, fuck! Now I’ve done it.
September 1st, 2008
Oh, no doubt. :)
September 1st, 2008
Actually, just so I know, how exactly do you class that as hysterical? Where did that come from??
September 1st, 2008
That’s women for you. Nothing but nag nag nag.
September 1st, 2008
Come now, Bock.
September 1st, 2008
Sorry Nora. It’s just that Walls is so easy to wind up I can’t resist it.
September 1st, 2008
I am NOT easy to wind up! I’m not I’m not I’m NOT!!!
September 1st, 2008
Now now, my dear. Don’t you worry your little head about this. Why not go and make us all a nice cup of tea?
September 7th, 2008
Bock
What is wrong with having “Annie Oakley” in the white House ? I have never tried moose stew. Perhaps she may put ”God dam Alien stew “ on the Menu?
My rifle my pony and me / Yippy Kay O Kay A
September 14th, 2008
Heya Bock. How’s blogging then?
I was in Ireland recently…in Bray.
Apart from being stripped (down to me underpants! in full public view!) at security at airport, it was good fun.
I think if Mrs. Clinton was to be next President (They can’t call her Mr. President….or can they?) and Sara was to be VP…..Would have been the best outcome! Peace in US and in rest of the world…American stealths bombing everyone else with cheese burgers…with extra mayo!!
September 14th, 2008
Jasjeet —
Welcome back. What the hell was that strip search about?
September 14th, 2008
Nothing serious….it was one of those random searches…..and I know how random they are….we all know these days who is going to spend less than 30 secs and who is going to entertain rest of the queue! It was good for me though….I found 10 quid in my bag’s pocket!
September 14th, 2008
So they subjected you to a strip search in full public view because you’re a Sikh?
I’d love more information on this.
September 14th, 2008
I would be inclined to say ‘No’. I did look a bit dodgy. The beeping wouldn’t stop ’cause of my ‘jewelery’. I tried to explain that my shirt has metal buttons (I was a fool to wear that….but it missed my thought)…so instead of using a private room or equivalent…I was asked to take my jeans and my shirt off! It was cold!
But the man was quite sympathetic..his boss was a bitch who thought it would be a good idea. She even got nasty looks from public.
But I enjoyed it…there a group of girls returning from a hen weekend….they kept on winking and whistling…making the whole process quite entertaining!
I do not think it was a general thing…..everyone else even the immigration people were grt…..I really must have impressed the woman in charge!
September 14th, 2008
I’m speechless.
They must have someplace private for that kind of thing. It might be worth putting a query to Dublin airport about their policy.
September 14th, 2008
the closest i have to your story Jaseet,was removing my belt for security in San Francisco airport and wearing baggy jeans.I was asked to keep my hands up in the air..I used all of my positive mental powers to keep them pants up,but to no avail.. mortification for me,chuckles for the queue..
September 14th, 2008
Bock, I am too lazy a person to do that.
Organdonor, Hope you had underwear on!
September 14th, 2008
I might put the question to them.
September 14th, 2008
They might not appreciate it! But I guess why not. If you really want to do that!
Well I am taking off for day now.
September 14th, 2008
I did Jasjeet.If i hadnt the story would have 72% funnier but 300% more mentally scarring..
September 14th, 2008
Mentally scarring for you or for the witnesses?
September 14th, 2008
A little from column A ,a little from column B.. :D
September 14th, 2008
Hi Jasjeet,
your good to keep it positive, and give the hens some eye candy…Still, it was wrong for security to not allow you privacy. I won’t comment on the whole ‘picked you for a reason’…because that’s a whole other rant.
Bock’s right in the sense that you should at least make a complaint, even if it’s just a simple letter.
September 14th, 2008
Remind me never to give them any excuse to search me. Just as well the bones in corsets are made from plastic nowadays … hm?
September 15th, 2008
But are they connected to the hip bone?
September 15th, 2008
And padlocked.