Thieving Bastard Steals Bock’s Phone
Posted on Monday, August 18, 2008To the thundering fucker who stole my phone out of my jacket in Nancy Blake’s last Saturday night, can I say only this:
May your arse fester and close up, you stinking thieving son of a whore.
May your dick rot and drop off.
I hope you get attacked by an army of giant knob-eating ants.
May you swim with Germans.
I hope you’re shot with shit so you’ll be dead and dirty.
May your dog get piles.
May you die roaring, you filthy, scummy, cocksucking, lowlife fucking thief.
I hope the phone gives you brain cancer.
__________
Why am I so angry at this lowlife piece of shit?
Two reasons: I lost all my phone numbers, and equally annoying, this was the phone I won for blog post of the month back in June.
Bastard. May your shroud be too short.
__________
Isn’t it lucky I was surrounded by sympathetic friends?
Stumble it!
August 18th, 2008
May their dicks shrivel and their balls turn to lead. We can only hope they overdose on their filthy crack sometime soon.
August 18th, 2008
May he get cat A.I.D.S
August 18th, 2008
you’re not going with the christian way then and forgiving the sinner. jk. how horrible. i’d hate that. i have my phone for a good few years now and have a lot of numbers i’d hate to lose. i’ve seen ads on tv actually for backing up your numbers automatically on one of the networks websites. might be UK though. what goes around comes around. actually come to think of it maybe this is karma for keeping that beggers 50! jk again. hehe
August 18th, 2008
oh you didn’t keep the 50 right, it was your buddy. you just enjoyed the pint too much i think. the karma gods were watchin! lol
August 18th, 2008
Has the dirty clap ridden filth merchant rang any of your contacts yet?That’s the norm these days,just to over piss you off.May his ears and eyeballs burst,and may he suffer from a thirst.
August 18th, 2008
May the devil swallow him sideways.
Or her.
I have an online account with O2. I’m off straight away to find if I can back up my numbers online.
August 18th, 2008
doesn’t nancy’s have a lot of cctv cameras operating? may have recorded something that could indicate direction to look, hope it was just some plonkers idea of a joke!
August 18th, 2008
I find your anger funny
Sorry
August 19th, 2008
Good. That’s the idea. I find my anger funny too.
August 19th, 2008
I don’t suppose you signed up to one of those tracking systems did you ? The ones that tell you EXACTLY where you (or your phone) are…… tell me you did ?
August 19th, 2008
Not at all. Don’t be ridiculous.
August 19th, 2008
No sympathy here Bock! You of all people (tech-savy as you are) should have had the wit to back up your numbers via your PC! Most half decent phones come with the necessary software! I (says he smugly) have my phone, iphone, mac and laptop all synced so that all contacts are on all devices. What were you thinking? You’re just too trusting of your fellow human-beings! See where your gentle & forgiving nature gets you ;-)
August 19th, 2008
No. I thought the motherfucking Nokia software had fucking worked but it motherfucking didn’t and I had no cocksucking fucking numbers.
What a motherfucker!
August 19th, 2008
Have you rung him/her up and asked him/her to return the contaminated phone and apply on bended knee for an antidote to the virus.
Text him/her and scare the shit out of them. And then drain the Shannon to find your phone.
Empathies. I lost mine a while back; rang the number (as I thought); got an East European who didn’t know the number he was answering and I was convinced my phone was gone for a Burton.
Turned up in the ticket office of the local railway station where I dropped it.
Funny thing this life.
August 20th, 2008
I hear you, mine was knicked last week, I think I’m on my 15th phone now,due to them braking,trusting in the goodness of others, and well….drunkeness.
May his shit come back to life and eat him!
August 20th, 2008
Ah, there was no need to wish ill on the shit eating, felching, scrotal wart’s dog ill will. That was out of order, Bock. The poor little mutt is probably being shagged ragged by the thief everytime he comes home alone.