Sarah Palin, Sarah Quayle or Dan Barracuda?
Posted on Tuesday, September 2, 2008We don’t pay much attention to our politicians’ family lives in this country, and that’s the way it should be. Occasionally, some scummy hack will take a picture of a politician’s teenaged son drunk outside a nightclub, but all that does is increase public sympathy. We don’t want to know what’s going on in the homes of our public figures, and for the most part we respect their privacy.
Our former Prime Minister is the only exception I can think of. We all jumped on him, but he brought that on himself by going on prime time TV and pleading to the nation. He told us that he accepted a bag of money from property developers because his marriage break-up was killing him financially, the lying turd, and when he was found out, he got savaged.
Sarah Palin is a gun-totin’, creation-believin’, barracuda-bitin’, virginity-keepin’, holier-than-thou, God-fearin’ pro-life moose-killer. When people like Sarah Palin lecture the rest of the world, they don’t just think they’re right. They know they’re right, and you better do as you’re told or get righteously stomped. The world was made four thousand years ago, and all God’s creatures roamed the Earth together in God-fearing peace: dinosaurs, moose and barracudas. Plus a few humans armed with 303s and bazookas to kill the animals, as set out in the Constitution of the United States and as handed down to Moses by God. Carved into a tablet of depleted uranium.
There ya go, Moses, old buddy. Enjoy this here Creation made for you and all Me-fearin’ arms-bearin’ Murkans. Go forth and pollute!
Jeez, thanks God. We sure will. Wagons Ho!
And so it went that the righteous Murkans settled in the newly-built Grand Canyon and the freshly-flattened prairies and the sparkling brand-new and oil-rich Alaska, building righteous baseball stadiums and taking out franchises wherever they went. And shooting the creatures put there by God for their pleasure.
That’s the vision of people like Sarah Quayle. That’s what will lead the US should John McCain, who isn’t a young man, happen to go to his eternal reward.
President Barracuda.
How about that? Somebody who believes the world was made yesterday, and whose main experience is as mayor of a one-horse town in America’s lost State.
I normally wouldn’t give a rat’s ass who gets pregnant or where or when or why. It happens all the time, but it strikes me that Sarah Barracuda is being a complete hypocrite in the matter of her daughter’s pregnancy.
Sarah Palin built a career on family values and apple pie. Yet the same Sarah Palin is willing to place a vulnerable seventeen-year-old girl in the spotlight as a human sacrifice to political ambition.
Would you do it? If you knew your daughter would suffer, would you disregard the human consequences to your family and continue to pursue a job you’re neither qualified for nor capable of doing?
And if so, would you still proclaim your great devotion to family values?
_________________
Elsewhere
Sarah Palin: A Handy Catch-up Guide
Stumble it!
September 2nd, 2008
Family first second and third, never last… end of.
September 2nd, 2008
Bock: nice post. I agree. Private is private unless you are trying to invade other peoples privacy with repressive legislation.
The bridge story is a classic. These people have not yet come to terms with cyberspace where even an idiot can now check out your record.
She’d have been better served by confessing to pork barrel politics and saying she would now have to rise above it.
Having said all that, if we expect perfection in our politicians, we are going to end up with some awful mediocrity.
Some balance is needed. But in the Age of Tabloid who is going to attend to this ?
September 2nd, 2008
“as set out in the Constitution of the United States and as handed down to Moses by God”
LMAO (sorry ..)
And did you mention Bock, that she doesn’t believe in sex education for kids? She with the pregnant daughter. And she believes in shooting wolves from planes … And not only is McCain 72 but he’s had several bouts with cancer, as far as I know. (Poor man, but he could easily become ill while in office.)
Just watced Channel 4 News. Jon Snow said that McCain’s staff had done little more than Google her before picking her, and his ten-strong team only met her last Sunday. My god …
September 2nd, 2008
Nora: I’ll bet she’d have had a deeper vetting if she’d applied for a job as a federal postperson.
September 2nd, 2008
But Benny, she believes the word:
“Enjoy this here Creation made for you and all Me-fearin’ arms-bearin’ Murkans. Go forth and pollute!”
That’s all that matters.
September 2nd, 2008
I can’t believe I’m saying this….but….as much as I surely had a giggle that Ms. “Abstinence only education in our schools” has a knocked up daughter, I have to say that at least she doesn’t lack the courage of her personal convictions. She doesn’t believe in abortion and she has an infant with Down Syndrome. Most American women would have had the amnio and had an abortion. I have to respect her for that. However, I sense that she’s another one of those “I know what is best for everyone” kind of women, including throwing her child into the spotlight, and forcing the child and the child’s boyfriend (who has stated he doesn’t want to get married and doesn’t want children) into an early marriage in the name of politics. That is shameful.
And Bock? You left out the thing that to me deserves the most mockery of all:
Beauty Pagent Contestant Turned Politician.
Need I say more?
September 2nd, 2008
Nora: Still doesn’t excuse McCain’s vetting procedure. The rule is “no surprises”.
September 2nd, 2008
Benny -
My MOTHER, who doesn’t own a gun, WAS a virgin until she was married, doesn’t do drugs, hasn’t gotten so much as a ticket in twenty years, pays her taxes on time, has great credit, yadda yadda yadda, can’t even get a job as a mail carrier, so I’m thinking you are probably correct.
September 2nd, 2008
Hey bock,not connected with this post but i thought you may be interested in this.
Google’s new Internet Browser ,just released literally minutes ago.. i’m using it now and its very quick and reading some of the features on it ,i think i’ll be using it from now on.
Heres a link:
http://www.google.com/chrome/eula.html
September 2nd, 2008
Eliza: white collar, blue collar, no collar.
You’d better believe it. It’s universal.
September 2nd, 2008
Bock: I like your editorial preview. It’s pretty robust.
September 2nd, 2008
“My MOTHER, who doesn’t own a gun …… can’t even get a job as a mail carrier, so I’m thinking you are probably correct.”
Good heavens, eliza. What weirdness …
I have sympathy for Palin’s daughter. But for the life of me I can’t figure out what the McCain camp are up to.
On the other hand, Obama is a bit of an unknown quantity, even now. So I’m a bit lost all round.
September 2nd, 2008
Bock: Unless you have two comments in editorial mode at the same time. It sorta gets confused.
September 2nd, 2008
Nora -
Doesn’t she look absolutely freaking miserable? I refuse to mention her name in print, because she’s seventeen and still a little kid. I’m pretty sure she didn’t ask to suddenly become the poster child for this.
Let’s do a little compare and contrast: Chelsea Clinton, and Sarah’s daughter. Dems versus Reps. Hmmm. Seventeen, unwed, and getting married. Praise the lord and pass the peanuts. Who knew the Reps had so much in common with Islam? Make those girls pop out those babies, whether they want them or not.
September 2nd, 2008
Nice point Eliza. Who knew indeed? I suppose fundamentalists are the same all over the world.
September 2nd, 2008
Eliza: what’s the reference to the guy saying he’s not on for marriage. If that is the case, Sarah is surely a goner for including this in the report.
As far as pro-choice/life is concerned, the reference to popping out the babies does not do justice to the “pro-life” side. There are two sides to this argument, neither of which can be taken lightly.
September 2nd, 2008
Maybe they’ll force him to get married at gunpoint. Bring back the shotgun wedding!
September 2nd, 2008
The kiss of death?
Riding shotgun?
Comon!
September 2nd, 2008
How do you mean, riding shotgun?
September 2nd, 2008
Bock: Living dangerously.
Do you really believe in shotgun weddings?
September 2nd, 2008
Do I think they exist?
September 2nd, 2008
Bock: We know they do.
I was referring to sex in the shadow of the shotgun.
Should the Mammy pull the trigger or what?
Listen again, same Bat time, same Bat channel etc.
But seriously. Surely she’s a goner if the guy is not going along with all this stuff?
September 2nd, 2008
The whole thing has all the signs of panic.
Get a VP candidate quick to upstage the Democrats.
OK, so she’s pregnant, but they’re getting married.
What next?
September 2nd, 2008
I don’t know. The election is only two months away. maybe they’ve done a deal with the young fella to keep his mouth shut until then.
If Barracuda wins, it won’t matter if he decides not to marry. They’ll just blame him for everything, and Sarah will still be in line for the presidency.
If I was advising this boy, I’d be telling him and his parents to go public now: Read my lips. No wedding!
September 2nd, 2008
“Who knew the Reps had so much in common with Islam?” — eliza
Yep, fundies on both sides. I was part of a group blog based in Houston before the 2004 election and some of my American co-bloggers were talking seriously about getting passports if Bush won.
I’ve just been reading some new stuff:
Will McCain Drop Palin?
which includes,
* It emerged that Palin has links to the bizarro Alaska Independence Party, which harbors the goal of seceding from the union that McCain and Palin seek to lead.
and
* It came out that Republican lawyers are up in Alaska vetting Palin — now, more than 72 hours after it was announced that she’d been picked.
“What’s notable is that the media is asking the question of if she’ll be removed from the ticket.”
Lots more here:
http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/97256/
but you may have it already.
September 2nd, 2008
It’s hard to know how McCain could drop Barracuda without collapsing his entire campaign.
Anyway, why would he want to? Isn’t Sarah the most wonderful human being who ever lived?
September 2nd, 2008
“without collapsing his entire campaign”
That’s certainly what one would think.
Sky News just said that if I (me??) wanted to watch Bush’s speech by video link to the Rethug convention, it would be shortly before 3am. (insert maniacal laughter)
Here, enough of this. I’m off to get my beauty sleep.
September 3rd, 2008
She is quite a’Palin alright
September 3rd, 2008
Nora -
I had a good chuckle at the idea of Alaska becoming it’s own country. Now THERE’s a place I want to go on an exotic vacation!
Bock - the boyfriend had that previously posted on his *ahem* myspace page….these are children. It seems a shame to force them to marry to suit mommy’s political agenda.
And, no, you can’t have a Vice President’s teenage daughter in the White House with a bastard (oh, the puns I could make). She would have to stay home, or marry her boyfriend, or give the child up for adoption. It’s too late for a termination.
Poor, poor kid. Oh well. Don’t they hand out condoms in Planned Parenthood clinics for free in Alaska like they do in all the other states?
September 3rd, 2008
Of course, the other option is unthinkable: put the poor girl first and forget about political ambitions.
September 3rd, 2008
Bock, there is video of the Governor from January this year giving it up for Jesus so that they’ll get a $30 billion pipeline.
September 4th, 2008
Bock - I do stand vindicated! I just saw an RNC sign with a picture of Palin that said, I shit you not, “Hottest VP Ever”.
What in the world has democracy come to!
September 4th, 2008
Democracy? Is that what you call the last eight years?
September 4th, 2008
You letting your inner Pee Flynn loose Bock?
September 4th, 2008
I don’t know. It depends whether or not Pee Flynn is sickened by gun-toting snout-in-the-trough hypocrite politicians.
September 5th, 2008
He loses his crown soon enough, Bock, soon enough. I’ve had it, I’m going Libertarian. I’d run myself, but I’d have to give up all my favorite hobbies.
September 5th, 2008
she seems fuckin crazy…….the irritating and upsetting part is, she’ll probably win the election for the republicans.
have you ever seen bill hicks? he’s the funniest comedian i’ve ever seen and he does a bit about creationists in the video below. his dad was a clergy man i think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R370YkYhV0w