Soccer Sport

Scunthorpe United

I got a text from Wrinkly Joe this morning: Have you been following our ferric footballing friends’ latest results?

Now, you might not have been following the Iron’s exploits lately so let me just explain that they’re hovering near the top of the table.  Admittedly that’s after they were dumped ignominiously out of the Championship last year, but still.

Hmm, I thought.  What does this remind me of?

And then I remembered. It reminds me of every other fucking Scunthorpe season.  They win the first few games and then settle into a miserable pattern of home draws and away losses, eventually winding up a couple of places clear of the relegation zone, having achieved absolutely nothing.  Apart from the year before last, of course, when they managed to get promotion to the Championship (or the Second Division to old people like me).

And so I replied accordingly to Joe: Just wait. They’ll start the losing streak soon.

Joe is an incorrigible optimist.  Oh ye of little faith, he answered.

Tis true.  I have little faith in this rabble, but we’ll probably still go to at least one game in Glanford Park this year.  I’d like another pint in the Honest Lawyer.

4 replies on “Scunthorpe United”

Bock – as a newcomer I had no idea you had a fondness for the Iron. What’s the story behind that then?

Having spent many a cold, wet saturday afternoon on hockey and rugby pitches having the living crap beaten out of me by the gentlemen of Appleby, Normanby Park, Flixboro etc I have a certain fondness for the place. I often wonder if anyone found my teeth.

If you do make it over, I dare say a beer could be arranged, if you’ve the inclination.

The story behind that is simple: Scunthorpe are sufficiently ludicrous to justify following them.

If we make it over, I might well take you up on that offer. I’d say we’ll probably make the trip, but it gets fuckin cold there in winter. We went there in December once and I’ll never do that again. We might leave it till the weather moderates a bit.

Well it’s a tight race in Lincolnshire for most ludicrous soccer team, what with Gainsborough Trinity and Boston United in contention, but Scunny are certainly up there with the best.

The rain’s warmer in spring and there’s all the excitement of whether they can win and secure 16th place, so hope to see you over then. Come & watch the local XV too if you do – makes cage fighting look like morris dancing and that’s just in the bar after.

Have a good weekend.

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