Brian Lenihan’s Budget: Hair Shirt or Hair Dye?

I have only one question to ask about the budget, and it’s this:

Does Brian Lenihan dye his hair?

Hmm?

What do you think?

Is this hair unfeasibly black for a man in his late forties?  Really now.  I know he’s incredibly clever, and he has a First from Cambridge, and he’s about 98 times smarter than me, but the hair, you know?  The hair.

It’s all about the hair.  His father had the same problem when he was a minister.  Very dodgy hair.  Very.  But those were different days, very grim days when Ireland was oppressed by bastard priests and anti-everything maniacs.  Days when the only way a liberal, thoughtful, intellectual, well-read politician could defend himself was to pretend he was a raving lunatic, a bumbling Fianna Fá¡il idiot, and have a ridiculous head of hair.

Not any more.

These days a man can have any hair he likes, and I thought we’d moved on from the time when a man felt the pressure to pretend he was far younger than his treble chins suggest.  I thought, in my naiveté, that men had realised it doesn’t matter how old you look.  Age only makes you better, provided you accept it, flaunt it and enjoy your antiquity.

Obviously nobody told poor Brian, which is why, tomorrow, he’ll subject himself to the unforgiving one-eyed scrutiny of the TV camera as he delivers his hairshirt budget.

And he’ll look like a fuckin fool.

14 thoughts on “Brian Lenihan’s Budget: Hair Shirt or Hair Dye?

  1. “Ireland was oppressed by bastard priests and anti-everything maniacs. Days when the only way a liberal, thoughtful, intellectual, well-read politician could defend himself was to pretend he was a raving lunatic, a bumbling Fianna Fáil idiot, and have a ridiculous head of hair.”

    I’m not sure where this is going but I happen to remember the old boy, I happen to remember him presiding over disasters as Min for Education. I happen to remember the carry on of him and the cronies in boozers and fancy restaurants while they let the country go to ruin. I happen to remember the threats and favours handed out by him and the TACA fraternity. I happen to remember twas his crowd gave the church the power they had, and kept. I happen to remember that he ruined the liver he was born with and when he was privileged enough to get a replacement he set about ruining that too. I happen to remember that he was party to the rot setting in in Irish politics and Irish public service.
    His sons carry a heavy burden, one well (I think), the other not so well.

  2. I think he’s keeping the hair dyed to make sure that we don’t mistake him for one of those pensioners who’s going to loose their medical card, or indeed their pension itself.

  3. It’s a rug for fear he’d be mistaken for Conor. Only it looks worse now that he’s aged 10 years in the past few weeks. Which is still a lot less than some of us.

  4. Brian — True enough. And likely to elect him again next time.

    Unstranger — I think you probably need to know a bit more than that really.

    Conan — That’s why you won’t ee the word “honest” used here to describe him. He was a leading member of a cynical gang of crooks, but at the same time I think he had more liberal leanings than the rest of them.

    M’sieur le Craic — No danger of mistaking him for one of them. Not in his ministerial Merc anyway.

    Róisín — Could anything be worse than being mistaken for Conor?

  5. Instead of punishing us poor drinkers with increases maybe Brian will have some heart and hit himself where it hurts – 15% increase of tax on Wella and Just For Men.

  6. The black thing on Briany’s head is a throwback to the days when judges used to cover their heads with a black cap or cloth when passing a death sentence.

  7. he robbed us all … but he realy hurt p a y e taxpayers but we wont stand for it…
    p a y e workers should unite with national strikes until this CRIMINALY THIEVING EXCUSE FOR A BUDGET is repaired!!!!!!!!

    just wait…. together we CAN bring the government down, and then elect a real one!!!!

  8. The Shinners will be too busy propping up the next instalment of our Cunt-ry & Western govenment to be inciting anything on the streets.

    They’ve already tasted the good life on offer up North. In any case Fianna-Fail Lite have long given up on whatever Socialist policies they mouthed off in the past.

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