I will have no tolerance for any financial institution which seeks to exploit competitive advantage from this guarantee, said Brian Lenihan, our Finance Minister.
Oh really? said Irish Nationwide. Well fuck you, Brian Lenihan, and fuck the taxpayer you rode in on.
And so, these unutterable cunts sent out the following email to one global bank, and perhaps to many others:
Irish Nationwide Building Society – Government Guaranteed UK Savings Accounts
As you may be aware on Tuesday 30th September the Irish Government put in place a guarantee arrangement to safeguard all deposits (retail, commercial, institutional and Interbank), covered bonds, senior debt and subordinated debt (lower tier II) with Irish Banks.
As Irish Nationwide qualifies under this scheme we now represent the safest place to deposit money in Europe with a AAA guarantee from a country with the lowest national debt to GDP ratio of any AAA country.
Irish Nationwide are offering the following GBPÃ‚£ products for savers:
Six month 6.75% fixed rate bond (Irish Government Guarantee for any amount)
One year 7.10% fixed rate bond (Irish Government Guarantee for any amount)
Money in these accounts are guaranteed regardless of the size of deposit and represent the best value in the UK market.
I can provide application and opening forms by email if required. Please be so kind as to pass on to friends, colleagues and clients as you see fit. Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me directly on xxxxxxxxx or xxxx in the office.
I look forward to hearing from you in due course.
Michael Fingleton (Jnr)
Irish Nationwide Building Society
122 Wigmore Street
London W1U 3RX
You see? The DÃ¡il had barely discussed the bail-out before these fucking bastards decided to ride us bareback, touting for business on the strength of our guarantees.
Would you like me to translate Fingleton’s letter into English for you? Forget all this jargon about fixed-rate bonds and subordinated debt. That’s only bullshit. This is what the letter really says:
We’re bulletproof thanks to that fool of a Finance Minister who put his entire country into hock to bail us out.
We were fucked because we lent too much money to too many crooks and we’ll never get it back. We were fucked, but luckily that fool of a Finance Minister risked everything, instead of letting us collapse like the dickheads we are.
Woo fucking hoo!!
We’re bulletproof. Send us your money and the stupid Paddies will sell their children to keep it safe.
All the best
That, in essence, is what the fucking bastard is actually saying.
Irish Nationwide has described the email as inappropriate and regrettable.
Inappropriate? Like we’d need to be John Maynard Keynes to figure that out? Inappropriate my fucking arse. It’s a well-known one-fingered gesture to the Irish people, that’s what it is. Inappropriate? Bollocks.
Regrettable? What sort of two-faced hypocrisy is that? What the fuck do they regret? Nothing, except getting caught. The fucking bastards.
As the proverbial dogs in the street know, Irish Nationwide are in serious trouble. Their problems go far beyond lack of liquidity, and no government guarantees are going to fix their problems.
They’re on the brink of insolvency, and this email is plain evidence of just how desperate they are. Now is the time to withdraw the guarantee from them and let them collapse naturally. The other banks, who have acted slightly more prudently, will still be around to operate the money system.
But that won’t happen, because this little country is too cosy, with too many little cabals and good-buddy golf club deals. No matter how it goes, this government will drain the blood from you and me rather than see their pals in trouble. They’ll screw you and screw you again, because this government are a crowd of incompetent fucking crooks and I’ve been telling you that for the last two and a half years.
Do you know what? Maybe we should all just bend over now, and get finished with it.