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Lourdes Vomiting Bug

I hear there’s a vomiting bug in Lourdes.

Oh God, that’s fucking great.  That’s the funniest yet.  Lourdes is infected with a vomiting bug.  Imagine: a town up to its neck in healing holy water has an incurable vomiting bug.

Can you just imagine it, Atheist Volunteer Vomit-Commandos turning up at the shrine, projectile puking at the priests.  Cure that ya bastard!

What’s more, this is no three-day vomiting bug.  Christ no.  When you get the Lourdes vomiting bug, that’s it.  You’re infected for all eternity.  From now on, it’s heaving all the way for you, my fine true believer.  That’s the end sociable drinks after a good craw-thumping session.

Pint?

Bleurgh!

It’s over.  The holy party is ended.  No more solemn midnight processions for you.  From now on, everybody in Lourdes will be slipping on barf, and I can guarantee you one thing: that’s the last they’ll see of old Ratzo.

Your Holiness, the people of Lourdes would like you to visit the shrine again.

Shrine schmine!  I will not the gut-flinging-up risk taking making.  Nein to the shrine!

Oh it’s just great.  I fucking love it.

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